Can't Save Us
by IKnowAlma
Summary: Force warriors on opposing sides of a war with a bond that insists on throwing them together during their most vulnerable moments. What future is there for these star-crossed almost lovers? Reylo set after The Last Jedi. Rated M as a precaution but could probably get away with T.
1. Chapter 1 - Smouldering Ashes

Can't Save Us

Chapter 1 – Smouldering Ashes

Relief was clear on their faces and she couldn't blame them. They had been trapped inside that minuscule space for weeks; so many people crammed into one tiny ship. It had been uncomfortable to say the least even with the break in their journey to refuel and resupply. It hadn't been a secure position and the Order would have found them easily so they'd packed back in and tolerated the lack of personal space as they travelled further. Now as they spilled out of the relic onto solid ground they could finally breathe in comfort. She joined them in that, inhaling deep the foreign smells of a lush forest. Rich earthy scents, dampness in the air; life. Things she could not take for granted if she tried. For all the torment her adventures had caused she wouldn't trade any of it for seeing these worlds and for discovering how much more there was out there. Something she had missed out on for so long.

Swallowing unpleasant memories Rey cast her eyes to survey her flock, new familiar faces glancing back to her. General Organa with that strong kindness Rey felt she could turn to in times of doubt. Poe with that confident smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth in spite of their flighty predicament. Finn with uneasiness but a strange new determination that she was still learning about. Chewbacca, steadfast and supporting as he had always been long before her time. Rose, her newest ally, bright and cheerful not at all awkward or out of place like the girl thought. These people were Rey's family but if she thought too long she'd notice that a piece was missing.

Stepping beside Finn, they approached General Organa who had gathered other key Resistance members before ordering the party to move forward. Blending in amongst the flora and rocks there was a metal shell, a base hidden on the planet. At first Rey thought it was unoccupied but then a small group of soldiers emerged, bowing deeply to the older woman who appraised them with stern eyes.

"I was beginning to think our communication systems were malfunctioning from all the silence we received." She mused. She was scolding them in a backhanded way and everyone knew it.

"We're sorry Ma'am. There was a…dispute amongst the remaining factions. And there has been a lot of activity from the knights of late." A scruffy man most likely in his late twenties reported. A darkness seemed to sweep over Leia something akin to guilt and sorrow. It was the same look Luke had when he spoke of his nephew.

"Of course. Well, lets get everyone inside. We need to take stock and I need an update on the other bases. We'll work out who is capable of aiding us and who requires some more convincing. We have to get more allies and Luke definitely will have inspired enlistment. If we keep getting word out of his last stand we can bolster that." General Organa continued. The way she commanded getting straight to the tasks at hand you'd never think she had just recovered from vacuum exposure or the grief at the loss of her brother so soon after her husband's death, the only tells her shaky hand on the cane that helped her walk even as she strode confidently forward.

The crowded space began to filter out as soldiers, mechanics, and strategists followed preparing to bring the full breadth of the base to life, activity a buzzing energy she could feel in the air. Rey hesitated. It was the first time in a while she'd finally had a moment to think, to realise that now that she was here, now that she had dropped off those she had saved what was next for her? Was a scavenger from Jakku meant to join in principal talks? Was she right to think she was someone important now? She'd never really sat in on a meeting of leaders; what did they do? She felt more comfortable outside in the humidity and the green or back on the ship with Chewbacca.

"Come on." Finn beckoned, holding out his hand shattering Rey's anxiety at what came next. She stared back at him recalling a time when she used to scold the young man for taking her hand, the contact something unusual and uncomfortable. But now he was a friend and he was reminding her she was a part of this. Where once they had fled for their lives all because of one little droid, now they fought for a cause they both believed in and she belonged here as one of the newly forming legends to replace the ones they had desperately tried to enlist the aid of. It was a bittersweet joy that filled her chest as she accepted his offer.

* * *

He had wanted to pursue them, had intended to but Hux had insisted that a meeting be arranged for the First Order to regroup following the death of the Supreme Leader. Kylo could force choke the general into submission, he had considered it and he'd seen the recognition in the red haired man's eyes, wary yet suspicious. But he had conceded allowing General Hux to have his minor victory, Ren having burnt out his rage in that last exchange with _her_. Perhaps it was for the best. Once he had every faction under his command in the one room he could use their fear to attain absolute loyalty. Unfortunately he needed them. He hated admitting that, even just to himself but they were much more experienced in the arts of war and stratagem. He needed their allegiance and Hux confirmed he would not get it through respect but instead intimidation. As much as he'd prefer to force choke everyone of any power within the First Order through holo-vid he did not have that strength. He had a lot to be sure but not quite that much for such a distance. A pity.

He regarded his chambers with deliberate scrutiny. He needed his visage, the false pretence of a force user akin to Darth Vader. While he had the strength to intimidate everyone into submission, cracks in his armour might show without the proper display of superiority. His grandfather had presented himself in cruelty, his mask represented the death of heroes and legends concealing a past the galaxy had not known during his reign. Where his rage was the silent death of another soldier who had disappointed him, Kylo's was known as a fierce wild thing to be avoided. If people were fleeing their leaders they weren't obeying them. So his eyes narrowed at the new mask he had obtained. It wasn't unusual for the First Order to have replacement helmets; he was prone to breaking or losing them. But this was not why he stood considering the black mask. It was his next decision.

If he lost the helm, a symbol of his childishness as Snoke put it, he would be vulnerable. His face might betray emotions he didn't want the other generals to know about, fissures that Armitage might use to encourage his colleagues that perhaps a force user was not an ideal Supreme Leader anymore; perhaps they should seek counsel from the Attendants and return to the edges of space. Betrayal would be the expected action for Hux against Ren. They, as Snoke's right and left hand puppets, were known for harbouring ill will against each other. Kylo only had the red haired general's allegiance because even an army was no protection from a man who could choke you with his mind. So Ren had to look towards a new mask, one that had to be perfect. One that showed him emotionless with the exception of the ferocity of his rage at chosen times. They would learn the terror of a calmer more precise hatred.

It was the only thing he could think of. He'd made too many mistakes in that last battle and while no one openly said it he knew there were murmurs that he was not the leader they needed. The First Order wanted for unity, discipline, purpose. He was not this, he was chaos spurred by indirection. Kylo's one goal had self-fulfilled in a way. While he wanted to pretend that Luke had been the end of it, his objective complete there was one more untrained Jedi left.

Before melancholy could complicate things a minor presence fast approaching him shattered his inner musings causing his gaze to go to the door. It opened without indication from the soldier that he was there. The young man whimpered as he saluted in response and Kylo wondered if he'd drawn the short straw to get the duty of delivering information. In spite of the fatigue it would inevitably cause, he had kept his senses cast out to alert for danger, aware that the meeting might be a ploy by Hux to remove him. Where once this kind of use of his abilities had gone unnoticed by most bar those sensitive with the Force, now it seemed that it left others with an unpleasant feeling in the back of their mind, a bad instinct to give his quarters a wide berth. This was fine. It would add to the fear intrinsic to his succession and it kept inconvenient assistants away from his quarters bar unfortunate souls like this one.

"Sir. We have arrived. The other generals are already in attendance; those on nearby cruisers have been hailed." The man informed not daring to cast his gaze at Kylo fully. The force user narrowed his eyes, deliberately making his presence heavier as he watched sweat roll down the man's face.

"Good." His voice came out as a dangerous rumble threatening in tone but withheld by obedience. He did not wait for a response, stalking down the long halls allowing his subordinates to see his maskless face, to believe in the expression there and that this was not a man to cross. His heavy steps were all the fanfare he needed, soldiers stopping to salute as he passed a similar fear emanating from them as he desired.

He wasn't surprised that the meeting had begun in some form when he entered the room where Hux stood amongst the other generals, older and younger by measures. The red haired man was placed at the head of the table indicating their deference to him. Kylo knew it was his attempt at a reminder that Armitage was the bulk of Snoke's support. That his bloodline, though tainted, had meaning to these other men and women. Ren could taste bitterness in the back of his mouth, reflecting on his knights currently assisting a few of the generals and how ungrateful careless men could be. He would have to remind them why Snoke had raised the wild force user to such high stature amongst the First Order.

"General Hux has advised us of recent events. We are perturbed that this untrained girl managed to slay the Supreme Leader in the presence of yourself and his Praetorian guards." An older man in the room spoke up. Of course he would, Ren knew him. General Claude Lucius liked neither of Snoke's key pawns but had trusted in the elder's decision and wisdom. With him gone Claude would be the biggest problem next to Armitage himself. Kylo stared back impassively knowing what they were all trying to do. They wanted to see weakness, hesitation. Accusation to either bury him under his failure and lack of power or to betray the possibility that he had had a hand in it. They were not wrong in that but he wasn't about to let them know.

"She's not untrained. Skywalker taught her." He reminded knowing that excuses weren't going to help him but providing one anyway. He kept his voice even, his mask simple to display a lack of care for what they wouldn't openly say.

"Skywalker. An old man who also tricked you, distracting General Hux's army from pursuing the Resistance's most important members and now they're lost to us. There are reports that have confirmed General Organa is among them having survived her supposed demise on the Raddus." Another elder declared, this a woman's hologram with a stern gaze that caused Kylo's jaw to twitch as rage got the better of him when his eyes flicked across to her.

"And we could have still pursued them, traced their jump. It's what we should be doing now snapping at their heels." The fallen Jedi stated with an incline of his head to emphasize his conviction, tempering his rage as best he could though he wanted to lash out desperately. Half of them not in the room felt safe but he was close enough, he was confident in that. If Snoke could display his will from his spaceship far away at times then so could he.

He saw it. The shift in their gazes. He wasn't choking them but discomfort tingled on their skin, a foreboding in their mind. The less bold of the collection of authority had the grace to duck their eyes down but those few still held strong. He fought the temptation to sneer; not yet. He couldn't gloat just yet. Of course it was the old man who remained the most defiant next to Armitage.

"General Hux was wise to regroup. Your ships are in ruins, the Supreme Leader is dead. Tales of Luke Skywalker have already spread and inspired others to join the Resistance. Before long without the Starkiller Base we will have political enemies again who support their cause." General Lucius counselled as if scolding a stubborn child. But before he could speak further the words strangled in his throat coming out as gasping breaths. He had come in person to show he was not afraid of a cowardly boy but instead had made it all the easier for Kylo to show what they should truly fear. None of the other generals had a chance to scold or scoff as they too began to reach for throats constricted without a hand to touch them, Hux specifically dropping to his knees as he received the worst of it. The effort hurt, tearing at his mind in a searing pain as he reached across great distances to affect those on nearby ships but Ren didn't let that show. Raw power was what he had been born with, what he had trained with. He just needed to use more of it.

"He is dead. The Last Jedi is dead. That girl will be dead. We repair, we regroup and we move on. We find where Organa has gone, we find where the last pockets of leaders are scheming and we _wipe them out_." He promised in tones low and growling, hissing his final words with a passionate venom that conveyed his hatred for the Resistance. There was not the usual ferocious snarl of his rage, the wild fury that they typically feared. He was showing the mask just as he wanted to. They were afraid but this was different. This rage simmered, biding its time suggesting the threat of a more calculated force user. "Contact my knights. They're coming back. It's time that we returned to the hunt and finished the Jedi legacy." He ordered just as he released his hold to an applause of gasping breaths.

"How will you track her?" General Hux wheezed in a final act of defiance. He needed to be eliminated but Kylo knew there was a certain amount of loyalty to the fair skinned man. If he removed him he'd have an even harder time reining control of the First Order. His resolve hidden, he appraised Armitage with a cold but deliberate gaze.

"I will use my resources you will use yours. When she is found I will personally drive a lightsaber through her heart." He promised his anger making the words sound like conviction. But inside they were not. He wanted to pretend, to find the pain and direct it at her as a weapon. To some extent it was but even in his wild mental state he knew that killing her would only exacerbate his inner turmoil; it would torment him worse than Han's death. But what options were left to him? He was amongst the wolves, enemies at all sides. At least with the First Order he had a chance of controlling them.

The meeting adjourned holograms flickering down and without waiting to have words with the generals there in person he ignored silently scathing looks and stalked from the room. The weight to his steps felt heavier, their raucous march a sound that made those he passed flinch as if he could flay them with his mind.

When Kylo arrived at his quarters he did not hesitate. He had too much fear and rage chasing each other inside him causing an inner conflict he could draw strength from. If he was to confront her now was the time to do it. The generals had been a challenge though he had known their locations, could pinpoint where to direct his energy but now he did not know where to guide his will and the distance was much further.

He recalled the first time he had met her. That sensation when he had probed her mind, that strange energy that was so familiar. Perhaps that had been the start of their bond and Snoke had only brought it to their attention. Kylo doubted from the minute the Supreme Leader had said it that he was solely responsible for the link. It felt too intimate for that. Something more was at play.

 _You won't reach her this way. I thought I taught you better._ A voice lectured in his head. He couldn't determine if it was real or some semblance of a conscience but he ignored it. He used brute force, thinking of the sensation. How at times he didn't notice it right away, didn't know what it was. But now it was recognizable. He reflected on that feeling, the tug inside and the rush of air. _There_ , there it was. He chased it mentally but something was wrong. Something was different. Perhaps because he was forcing the connection to take shape. He couldn't see her this time but he could hear her. His eyes darted in front of him glimpsing things he couldn't comprehend. It was warm and humid. He rushed to pinpoint her amongst that damp heat, following the link they still shared and then he heard her startled breath. She felt it.

"Rey, what is it?" A man's voice questioned, a man he couldn't see. Something about that stirred Kylo's rage and his face contorted in fury. _There_ , he saw it. A wisp of her clothing brushing past foliage.

"You left me." He spat unable to hold himself back anymore. Torment twisted inside Ren and then motions unbidden unfolded; before he even knew it he had his saber in hand, lashing out at the empty room that wouldn't quite connect him with her. There wasn't enough of the bond for him to hurt her so he felt safe to thrash out at the emptiness of his chambers.

"I offered you _everything_!" He cried out the words accusatory even though the blame he placed on her was not quite openly declared, the derision at her sparing him. He heard her gasps, whimpers as she flinched at whatever she saw of him but still the bond was not taking its full shape. This coupled with his earlier frustrations only enraged him further. He used that to bury the silent pleading of his heart, to hide the pain.

She could see him in a way. The spark of his saber as it carved through the space he did not occupy with her. She didn't see his eyes but somehow she felt the ache in them. Rey flooded the emotion with her own disappointment, trying to drown it out. He had come so close, he could have been redeemed. Even as he cried out wildly at her some part of Rey still wanted that moment to change, wanted Ben Solo to aid her in calling off an attack whose events had long since transpired. She wanted to take his hand.

"You have made your own path." She whispered ignorant to those who had been around her. They didn't see the flashes of light from his wild swinging, didn't feel the heat searing from his weapon. They couldn't sense the rawness of his wound as he cried out like a wild animal. "This was your decision." She declared finding the peace she needed to centre herself. She began to bring walls up; she had to break their connection before it became a liability. She couldn't imagine the strain this was causing him but it showed that he would eventually be able to call up their bond on command and that made her time amongst the Resistance limited.

Distracted by his anger, he noticed too late she was shutting him out and with one last wild swing the moment was gone. She heard his final whispers almost like the link had wanted her to before she'd closed the artificial connection. _Please don't leave me._

It hurt her heart. She knew that pain. She knew what it was like to watch someone who gave you your only sense of gentleness in the galaxy turn their backs and walk away. To do that to someone else was the hardest thing she had ever done but he was dangerous to her, to her friends. Sadly he was also a threat to himself. One she didn't know what to do with.

"Rey?" Finn's voice broke through her tormented musings and she tried to play the sweat off on the humidity. But she knew it was strained effort and the heat of his saber and they knew Rey was lying. She could smell the smouldering ashes in the room; metal burnt down by his weapon in a place she could not see. The link had broken by her efforts but the scent lingered.

"I can't stay here much longer." She answered looking at the vast green like it might soothe the ache in her chest. At some point this connection between them might be used to locate the Resistance.

"Then I might as well go with you." General Organa's voice broke the silence causing the small group to turn. They had left for a moment's reprieve to grab some things from the Falcon and to talk as friends. They didn't expect Leia to be coming to join them. "I felt him. It was twisted but it was him wasn't it?" The mother asked in gentle tones. Rey couldn't begin to imagine the pain in her heart for what had become of Ben.

"Yes…he seems…lost." The young scavenger responded though the word doubled for her as well and perhaps broken was better suited for both. The grief in the older woman's eyes gave way to her understanding of that. Patiently she asked for a moment alone with the young force user, requesting her small entourage go help the mechanics at the base with something or other. Finn gave his friend a quick hug to reassure her place before obeying.

"Ben's been lost a long time. I'd given up on him after Han." Leia confessed as she beckoned Rey to join her on a fallen tree. It reminded her of another planet and era inciting a small sad smile at how things were and should have been. "But Luke reminded me that there's hope. Irony isn't it? Me looking for hope." She explained with that familiar snark in her voice as if she wanted to confront destiny and give it a good slap for its sense of humour.

"Ever since he turned I've heard rumour of his temper. He'd never had a good one to begin with. Guess it was a mix of mine and what comes with insecurities when your parents aren't there to reassure you." She theorised poking at the dirt and leaves with her cane. Rey just remained silent knowing that all she had to do was listen. "But that just now was different. That's fresh pain. The kind of pain a mother expects from her son at some point in his life." She continued with a smirk of understanding. Rey didn't know how to react taking the moment to stare anywhere but the General once Princess. She'd deliberately not thought too much about it she supposed.

After learning the truth, after touching Ben's hand, she had been determined to save him. To bring forth the future where they fought together and ended the conflict. She was only just learning what friends were with Finn. Her life had been wrought with abandonment and betrayal as she waited dutifully for her parents to return. Parents who never returned. Did she intimately like Kylo? In that moment of self-reflection she decided she had wanted to, there had been moments she was tempted by the idea. But she had wanted an idyllic Ben Solo, one whose retribution was helping the Resistance end the fight. That was gone and in its place was Kylo Ren. A monster who embraced this fact. Could she let herself fall for him, viciousness and all?

"If he's feeling that pain there's hope." Leia continued deciding that Rey would not voice her opinion on the matter. "It means he wants something other than to burn everything to the ground." Her tone was more cross this time, perhaps even exasperated. It made Rey's brow furrow but a smile still quivered at the corner of her mouth. Ben's entire existence belittled to a stubborn son, something only Organa would dare to do when they both knew there was so much more to him.

"I don't know what to do." Rey confessed not thinking she was up to the task of converting him anymore. She had tried and failed at that. Maybe even made it worse. She felt comfort when the older woman's hand rested on her shoulder reassuringly.

"I sure as hell don't know. What I do know is that when I met Han, I thought he was a scruffy pain in my ass. He knew it too. He was everything I never saw in my life as a Princess." She reflected causing Rey's eyes to flit to the braid in Leia's hair with a sad smile. That was another thought that hurt, recalling the exchange between father and son. "But the heart does what it wants. Your position in life be damned. Drowning that out in rage won't change it. He's going to wear himself out. And when he does he might just give in to that. Just be ready if he does." Leia concluded in an experienced tone, forcing herself to stand with a fatigue that could be from age or the long battles she had faced over her time, Rey couldn't decide.

"I suppose I'm waiting for someone again." The young scavenger reflected almost bitterly, not wanting to accept such a passive role.

"Kriff that. You've got training to do and I'd be damned if we're not using you to bolster ranks. People are inspired at the thought of new legends taking shape and you're one of them. My brooding son is the least of your concerns. If he wants your attention he has to work for it." General Organa interrupted causing the younger girl to finally laugh which got a smile in response. She was trying to help in a motherly way. For a second Rey wondered why Ben had rejected that kind of love but it was a bittersweet thought. She couldn't understand his reasoning; he'd never answered her with regards to Han but he had his motives all the same. She just needed to let him find his way back. Until then she had work to do.

* * *

((A/N: I'm so out of practice and yet this story broke my limit I usually give myself to ensure I actually finish it by quite a bit. I'm excited to be back though I am also a little apprehensive. I left TLJ like so many others basically saying "Well, I guess I ship Reylo now". Ah, I need to try and keep this short but there's a lot of little things I want to comment on. I'll start off with this I guess: I swear there's some light-hearted fluff in there. You have to dig and search for it like a kyber crystal but it's in there. Maybe not in the first chapter but still. Bear with me. The depressing stuff you have to slog through but we'll get them there. Also, I don't know if I'm pushing my luck with Kylo casting out his senses for danger. Does the Force work like that? I don't think quite so meticulously otherwise he would have had an easier time finding Rey in TFA but I wanted to have it there. Might remove in later edits though. I hope none of this clashes with any of the new information from the novelisation but I haven't had a chance to read it. I guess we'll see.

I also have a suggestion. Play word bingo. Select a few words you see frequently in my first chapter and see if you can get them again in every chapter. Barring obvious things like "him", "her", "and", "this", etc. I think I noticed myself writing "weakness" too much and definitely "declared" in later chapters. Like always, constructive criticism is cherished. It's good to be back. Long note is long.))


	2. Chapter 2 - Prophetic Legacy

Chapter 2 – Prophetic Legacy

Kylo sighed deeply when the door was shut behind him separating the world outside from his one last place of refuge. He cast out his senses, determining that his subordinates were still giving the area a wide berth. Good. He didn't have the energy to be wary after a long day of meetings and prepping those of his knights who had returned, a few still in the process of making the journey back to him.

He removed his cloak, boots, any clothing of weight. He had intended to mediate for a time but instead found himself staring at the walls. Deep scars betrayed his tantrum from a few days ago. He could have asked to move or demand repairs but aside from not wanting to show the cracks in his mask he also didn't want to forget himself. In a moment of defensive rage he had struck out like this, confirming that he was a monster. Had he been lashing out in a ferocious outburst over the fact that he couldn't force the bond or was he deliberately pushing her away hiding under the belief that he resented her? Too tired to reflect on his own actions he dropped into his bed in defeat. The familiar uneasiness of attempted sleep crept toward him. Kylo tried to ignore it but as always, it was there. Ever since that night. But it wasn't the only companion in the silence.

He was exhausted, weighed down by his own decisions. By a life that flowed from one mistake to the next long before he was born. He was keeping tradition or so he told himself. But deep in the confines of another lonely night he knew really he was just afraid. So many things scared him. Loss. Love. Failure. The intent in his teacher and uncle's eyes the night he had woken and fought for his life. Perhaps he had never grown past that scared young man whose closest mentor had looked to kill him. How do you recover from that loss? How do you trust again in anything but your own strength?

Despite all these weary thoughts that chased around inside him sleep would not come. Instead he lay still in the dark, cold room a contrast to the chaos in his mind. Nights like these he'd train, fill the quiet with exercise. But this time he did not have the strength to do even that. So he stared into the darkness wanting answers but his quarters were silent. They would share with him no wisdom no matter how he asked.

He found himself unsettled further when this self-reflection was interrupted. Right when he felt his most vulnerable there was a weight at his back. A real presence as if someone shared his bed. Where had it come from?

Seeking the answer to this unspoken question he turned to look over his shoulder. At the same time the weight shifted and he locked eyes with the girl he'd been trying desperately to contact. Their breaths hitched together in that motionless instant, eyes widening in surprise as they stared over their shoulders at each other. He thought she'd managed to server the connection or at least block it but he realised she had as little control over their link as he did. She could impede his deliberate attempts but could not stop the natural occurrences. Whatever bridge Snoke had built, if his words had been true, it was still there.

The moment was broken, the pair flipping up and off either side of two beds light-years apart, Rey reaching for her staff though they both knew the futility of her trying to attack him. Hot rage bubbled up inside reminding Kylo that she had chosen to leave, had denied him when he'd begged, pleaded. They were meant to rule together, he had seen it but she had denied that future and betrayed him like so many others even as he opened himself to her.

"Go ahead. Try it." He spat venomously seeing a flicker of doubt in her eyes. Stubborn, beautiful eyes that made his body shake with hate. She took a breath deliberate and slow, calming herself. He could feel her trying to put those walls up again. He wouldn't let her and like a wild, injured animal he lashed out at her defences with a ferocious mind. She strangled a cry and he retreated realising he had hurt her even without the physical strike. He wanted to feel triumphant and satisfied but instead a gentler voice deeper within whimpered and cowered wanting nothing more than to reach out and apologise.

"Is that it?" She asked defiantly though her ragged breathing betrayed her state of mind. He knew she was baiting him but couldn't resist and thrashed out again but this time her will met his, Rey's defences striking back as they both shook with the mental effort, waging a silent, motionless war.

"You could have stood beside me!" He cried out trying to break her concentration. He could win this; he had years of training ahead of her. Why was it she always managed to best him? He should have been superior. This should have been child's play. But instead he struggled, instead she stood rebellious while a part of him wanted her to desperately take his hand and abandon that righteous path of his uncle. "Why won't you let go?!" He shrieked tears unbidden blurring his eyes as a painful feeling twisted in his chest.

"You're the one who won't let go!" She accused as her mind swelled within him pushing back harder than he could manage. He was tired. Why wasn't the weight of everything exhausting her as well? Frustration burned within and again he lashed out like a wild animal. Rey's fists tightened on her staff, the only warning he got before the weapon swept towards him. The tension snapped as it passed through Kylo's body like it was smoke, a chill feeling in his chest and she was gone, the connection broken. Quick breaths gasped in the cold air of his chambers, an empty room. Sweat ran down his face and he felt almost like he was going into shock as he gripped an unbruised torso. He hated her more than he could put into words but why did he want her back in this room so much? His lips parted, trembling and they morphed between a grimace and a sneer; while he would never let his inferiors see such an expression, he wept. The weight of his life was too much to bear in that moment and he let it overcome him. He was broken.

In another place far, far away she stood with ragged breaths on shaky legs. Her staff was still poised to attack as if Kylo might return at any moment. She had needed to physically end the connection to stop his will from bearing down on her. His torment was tremendous. Rey was glad for the solitude she had sought now. Used to isolation, she had felt uncomfortable sleeping with the masses and had instead taken residency inside the Millennium Falcon with Chewie with a weak excuse about lack of beds. Finn had known, had smiled sadly but accepted it. Now it brought her the privacy she needed as she struggled to compose herself.

She attempted meditation but her mind would not clear, circling around to the look in his eyes. He was covering that sadness with so much rage. Normally Ren was so gentle when he spoke to her but her rejection had stopped that. Sighing when her thoughts wandered back to him again for the nth time, Rey decided to meditate in a simpler way, one she was more accustomed to. She checked the systems on the Falcon looking for minor faults and things she could improve. It helped her clear her mind.

When dawn came she was weary but focused. She had other work to do. She retrieved the broken lightsaber from her pack looking over the two halves trying to make sense of the construction. Some of it seemed obvious to her from what she knew of mechanics. Rey inspected the crystal inside one half, curious as to its purpose. She noticed it was cracked. Could she still use it? Did she need to use specific materials for the grip? Too many questions and no one to ask she turned to what might help her. The bold woman wondered if Luke had known what she'd taken as Rey moved to the compartment where the ancient Jedi texts were now homed.

She huffed in defeat when she had flicked through all of them. Of those she could read they certainly did document important information about the Force, its nature and the abilities one could master with training but not the knowledge she needed at present. The closest any of them came to the weapons of Jedis was the one that detailed the various stances for combat. That would be important but still didn't help her current predicament.

 _Even Legend's have nephews who can't play nice and break their things._ A voice mused causing Rey to jump and look around the common room wildly. Confusion knit her brow as her eyes settled on something unexpected. Almost like a holo-vid Luke stood before her with a bitter smile. Had she gone crazy?

"No, kid. This is a normal afterlife experience for certain Jedi Masters." Luke explained patiently, very different from the short time she had known him.

"How…?" Rey finally asked finding her voice again as she circled the mirage.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you. For now, I think you need a little help. Wouldn't you agree?" He commented with raised brows as he looked at the broken saber in her hands. She glanced between the pieces realising that maybe she wasn't so lost after all.

* * *

As the last body fell he surveyed the area. Intel had been accurate. The small backwater planet had held a sizable Resistance pocket and they'd seized a satisfactory bulk of supplies. The blow they'd dealt would hurt. But there were no links to the leading unit unless you counted the ignored distress message they'd received months ago now from Crait. A pity but at least the success of their assault would give Kylo a reprieve from the generals who insisted on keeping pressure on him. He could lash out and subdue them but the young leader felt that would only spur further aggression and maybe even instigate the beginning of their betrayal. So he did the best thing he could do to supersede their power plays; he ignored them.

Ren eyed the bodies littering the burnt ground, ashes and smoke in the air from the damage caused by TIE fighters and the sabers of himself and his knights. When would he stop adding to his sins?

The silent thought was interrupted by a familiar feeling. Quickly he glanced over his shoulder watching grey smog shift from the space that was suddenly occupied behind him. She was seated somewhere. Judging from her shallow breaths he could guess she had been training with her staff. This time he couldn't conjure up his rage from other aspects to hide his pain. Kylo's mind wandered to the idea of offering his hand again and there was fresh torment in the understanding that she would reject him.

"You've been fighting" Rey said simply after watching him for a long time. Her eyes were steely, determined. But there was something behind the stubborn look she shot him. He looked at the space around her wishing he had some hint of where she was. But if he did would he pursue her like he promised? His eyes cast down when he acknowledged he probably wouldn't. In that silent thought he noticed a faint hum. Engines. She was on a ship.

"You're travelling somewhere." He noted reaching out with his mind to try and determine where. But Rey was ready and had barred him from her thoughts and memories. He kept his breaths deliberately slow although something told him she could feel the pain that denial caused as he took slow deliberate steps forward. She was so small and yet the obstinate look in her eyes was so strong. He knew Rey had fragility to her but she hid it so well. A lonely scavenger with a fierce will. How could he not admire her?

The look Kylo was sending her made her uncomfortable. At first his eyes had been that sad pleading that broke her heart. That look she'd seen when she closed the Falcon bay doors. Now it was something else. Not something dangerous but it still made her feel vulnerable. Rey had closed her mind off to him. Delicately she tried to pry information from his but he had his own impassable walls and her attempts incited an irritated frown that she'd even bothered.

"Supreme Leader." A man's voice called out, his gaze shooting off to some individual she could not see. It was all the bond needed and the moment was broken. The space in front of her empty again as her ears focused on her immediate surroundings. She took a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, needing to steady herself. She could still picture the soot on his face and smell the toxic air of his surroundings. How many more had he killed? Was there a point where she had to stop wanting to bring him home?

 _That depends on you. He's too far past for most to forgive him._ A familiar voice advised. Rey glanced to her ethereal master relinquishing her staff to look at the saber pieces that were seated nearby.

"How did you face your father?" Rey asked after brief hesitation glancing to the older man. She was still curious how this whole force ghost thing worked. She wondered if any of the previous voices she had heard were related to this ability.

"I sensed light in him. Like Ben, there was a fissure inside. Doubt, inner turmoil. Although my nephew has a great deal more chaos to his that is unable to contain his tremendous power. Anakin was more trained, more stable though I guess he had harboured his pain for much longer." Luke confessed. Rey had learnt through older members of the Resistance, through Luke that Anakin was Darth Vader's real name. The title most of the galaxy knew him by a moniker to hide purer origins, a ruse that he was responsible for the death of the fabled Jedi Knight. She wondered what he was like.

"I can help you with that. Rey. Meet my father." Her master's voice interrupted causing her to look up as another force ghost faded into view. Unlike Luke who had kept a visage of his old age this man had chosen a youthful version of himself in the afterlife. Did they choose? She wondered or was this their self-image. He smiled, hesitantly. There was something familiar about the look in his eyes. Something that hinted at the potential for darkness.

"What led to you…becoming Darth Vader?" Rey asked, too bold to be hesitant about the question.

"…a lot of fear. And a desire for power, like Ben. A desire for the respect my prophetic legacy demanded." Anakin's ghost answered after a moment of consideration. "I forgot about why I loved and what I loved because I wasn't meant to. I wanted to be strong enough to protect her and to also freely declare that she was my other half. Then I lost her not because of these fears but my reaction to them." He continued with a bittersweet tone to his voice that reminded her of Ben. "There are those who have corrupted the Force…charismatic individuals that convince you to use the pain of all the things that torture you to become strong so you don't have to fear. You follow their path for so long you think there's no point in turning back. But sometimes unexpected things change that." The young man confided glancing to Luke with a fond smile that betrayed a closeness that Rey didn't understand.

"He was my father. I couldn't cast him down. Very few people can cast family down." Luke added sharing that fondness giving the young scavenger a peek at what exchange may have taken place to turn, to change a mind.

"How can I show Ben that? He killed his own father; he's too lost to be saved by that kind of bond. I don't even know what that's like. I…I know nothing about family." Rey confessed feeling self-conscious at the looks the men shot her.

 _Every word of what you just said was wrong._ Luke informed her with a chastising glance. She felt like she'd disappointed him but she also sensed understanding.

"Rey, we're here." Finn's voice broke the moment, the two ghosts fading out of view. He'd seen her speaking to herself during their departure from the Resistance base. Rey had explained it but she could see in his eyes that it still unnerved him that she was seeing things no one else could.

She nodded, following him to the cockpit where Chewie sat piloting the Millennium Falcon. Amongst the stars was a planet they were fast approaching. Here Rey would find her answers.

"Have we picked anything up on the scanner?" She enquired as they broke atmosphere during their descent. Chewbacca, in his rough dialect that Rey was proficient in, advised there were a few pockets of civilisation. He confirmed per Luke's advice that there was one near a concentration of energy that disrupted their systems. They were headed straight to it.

She thanked her friend before taking Finn with her to grab what little they'd need for their hopefully quick expedition. They landed amongst sparse jungle, broken by rocky outcrops and thick with an imposing fog. Chewbacca led the way for the three man team as they funnelled out onto a stony, barren plain. The young scavenger noted the high rock walls. There were caves hidden amongst them and something told her those were more home than the dishevelled huts they found when they ventured further out.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Finn confessed. Rey had to agree. It was too quiet. A low whine from the wookiee confided he was uncomfortable too. Instinctually the group tensed; arms near their weapons ready for an attack.

There was a crack, shifting rubble, a rock falling. This warning allowed Rey to flick her quarterstaff out, blocking a blow from above. Her immediate thought was familiarity. From the strike the man had made to the wide brimmed hat on his head. It should have been raining.

"I know you." She commented as he backed away the surprise attack unsuccessful. The man eyed her cautiously but betrayed no intention. They circled each other taking note of their movements before he charged forward again. Instinct took over as Rey defended, savage cries as she struck back. The veracity of her wild rage in battle seemed to off balance the man who was soon the one on the defence. There was a movement, a signal and she knew that a ranged opponent was interfering. She whirled, the arrow stopping midair as Chewie and Finn's adversaries backed off, all eyes on her. Concentrating she let the arrow drop as if it had never been fired.

"Are you another Jedi Killer come to finish us off?" The man she had been fighting questioned as the others remained silent. She glanced back to him. That part of her vision had been of the past, this was not the same man.

"…Kylo came here." She noted observing as obvious tension moved through their attackers like a wave. They were wary of that name.

"The Jedi Killer did. Wanting to erase the history of his teachings he murdered our leader and many others. We few survived because we were hidden away." The man confirmed though even as he explained his tone implied warning that threats would not go unpunished. Rey couldn't blame them. She needed to show these people that she was not here to fight, that they could trust her. The scavenger took a deep, slow breath knowing that her next actions could put her and her friends in danger. But still she tossed her staff to the side, showing that she meant no harm though they both knew she could easily retrieve it with the Force. She bowed out of respect, in the same movement grabbing the broken saber from her pouch and offering it to the man. Understanding showed in his eyes and he signalled to his guardians.

"Why should we help you?" He asked patiently as he moved closer taking the pieces from Rey's hands and inspecting them. If he was curious how the lightsaber had gotten into its condition he didn't show it.

"…you follow the old teachings. You gather any information of the old Jedi order. You're the only ones I can turn to and fix this so that I have a chance in restoring balance." Rey confessed. She hoped that revealing her desperation might help them to trust she wasn't just using their knowledge to bring more torment to the Galaxy. Her main opponent appraised her with stern eyes and she saw in them a comprehension. He looked back to the pieces in his hand, specifically the gemstone inside one half.

"This crystal has had a long history. It has seen many events in the path that has led to this present." He observed removing it carefully. He had noticed the crack that worried Rey the most, his fingers tracing it.

"Will you help me?" She requested. Time seemed to stretch out in that moment, every second giving her an eternity to doubt her actions and choices. But somehow she had proved her worth. The middle aged man inclined his head to his brethren who lowered their weapons and retreated to daily routine. She motioned for her friends to stay where they were before following the man to one of the huts.

"This fissure makes it unstable. You should look for a new kyber crystal." He advised while grabbing texts from a shelf in his home. Although he counselled her otherwise he proceeded to show her how sabers were made, the importance of parts of their construction. The crystals a concentration of the Force and important to the one who found them. But he also observed that this particular crystal appeared to have chosen her as evidenced by the call. As if responding to this information she heard the whispers reminding her of a time when she followed a feeling that had frightened her, dragging her deeper into events as she explored dark passageways. It was not the trials of old as he said but she had definitely worked hard to acquire the crystal that had chosen her. The sage deemed it appropriate for the construction of a new blade, passing on tales of old journeys. Rey asked him where he'd learnt all this and he spoke of his father who had told him he'd gained his knowledge from a clunky old droid who should have been decommissioned years ago.

She spent the next couple of days at the village, Finn and Chewie helping her gather materials in the surrounding area to make a new saber as the man instructed. She was near completion, outside for the comfort of the fresh air practicing using the Force to construct it as her friends began to pack in preparation for their journey home. She didn't notice the older man observing her at first, so focused in her work as she concentrated on how all the pieces she'd build fit together. But there was something unsettling in his gaze that made her look up as the floating fragments dropped.

"What?" She asked with a bit more hostility in her voice than she had intended. This seemed to only encourage the look of familiarity in the man's eyes.

"I thought so. It's hard not to recognise the stubbornness of his eyes." The man commented. What he said was simple but to her it felt like a splash of cold water, freezing Rey in place. The ghost of words she couldn't say parted her lips as she stared back, an incredulous frown twisting her features. She was barely aware of the stillness of Finn and Chewbacca as they overheard, standing alert in response to the questions of her surprise. Her jaw quivered, eyes filling with clouded tears.

"What do you mean?" She hissed Rey's voice wavering with her barely maintained control. The older man frowned as if confused only for the expression to be replaced with understanding.

"Ah. That would make sense." He mused bobbing his head and moving as if he intended to leave. She couldn't let that happen, panic forcing her to reach out and grab the man's shirt unaware of how strong her grip was.

"You knew my father. Who was he? What happened?" She asked in rapid succession even as the man tried to get her to let go. Terror welled up within him but he couldn't back away.

"He's a mercenary. Or was one, years ago. I think he became a junk trader. He doesn't do much now, spends his days drinking. He was a has been before he could even try to become noteworthy." The man explained still struggling to escape her clutches. But she didn't relinquish even as she recoiled from his words, an uncomfortable sensation writhing in her chest. Why was it so hard to breathe?

"His wife? What about his wife?" Rey questioned dragging the man closer causing him to flinch.

"Never had a wife…I guess there was that pilot he used to travel with when he started trading but she died years ago." He concluded. Fresh shock washed over the scavenger giving the old man his chance to slip from her fingers but as torment twisted like a gnarled thing inside her Rey's mind reached out holding him in place while her face contorted in a new kind of agony, tears spilling to charge a path down her cheeks. She knew what this felt like to be on the receiving end of this force power, how horrifying it was to be unable to move without bindings but she could not stop herself.

"Where is he?" She sobbed the words though she was trying desperately to regain composure. She heard Finn shouting something, a warning maybe, a need to not know anymore but the words were barely noise to her deaf ears so concentrated on what the old, terrified man might say next.

"A village, North-East of here. Right on the edge in a small hut. Has a red hammock outside." The stranger bartered for his life. His payment was accepted and he scurried away as quick as his legs could carry him when she released her hold. She felt like she was going to be sick. She may have stood in an open area but to her it felt like walls closing in around her.

"Rey, you're not going to find answers there." Finn broke through as he and their furry friend approached. She held his gaze, using it to ground herself as she fought back the anxiety within.

"I have to Finn. I have to know. I have to meet him." She tried to explain her voice a little too desperate to convey her meaning. The wookiee growled in his native tongue and she shot him a look. He couldn't forbid it even if he thought that he was doing her a favour. "No Chewbacca. I _have_ to do this. I can't just leave without knowing. I _need_ this." She elaborated trying to express how unstable she felt. She knew that her mind wouldn't trail away from this knowledge. If they left she'd spend her every moment wanting to come back, that it would be a distraction or so she rationalised it. They didn't agree with the decision but silently her two closest friends exchanged a glance and relented. They had one last pit stop before they left.

* * *

((A/N: I always get so nervous posting later chapters dreading finding out I've disappointed someone with the direction I've gone. I feel I may have gone a little OOC with this one. I wanted to capture Anakin right but I feel I haven't. Hopefully I've done a satisfactory job overall. This chapter glosses over things a bit too much as I was still enforcing my usual limits to keep things short before I realised it had already taken a life of its own. Maybe future edits I'll elaborate a bit more.

Thank you SqueakyDolphin6 and WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf for the extensive reviews. I love having feedback like this to help me mull on things and have ideas in mind when tweaking in the future. I really like the idea of the bond starting even before the interrogation scene. I too feel Kylo trying to force the connection fits him very well, it was one of the first scenes that came to my mind in a series of little one shots that started this whole thing. And sassy mama Leia is a lot of fun to write (sadly she's not in this chapter D:) so I'm glad she was well received.

Hope everyone continues to enjoy and I look forward to sharing future chapters (lighthearted stuff is coming, I swear). As usual, constructive criticism is cherished.))


	3. Chapter 3 - Waited A Long Time

Chapter 3 – Waited A Long Time

She decided that the stones in her heart were apprehension. What was she going to find here? Was there anything he could say that would make up for years of staring at the horizon hoping someone would come for her? Would he even ask for forgiveness? A part of her didn't want to know. But everything else in her body cried out for answers, emotions a cacophony in her mind that she couldn't silence. Rey took a breath attempting to meditate but she couldn't. Instead she listened for their arrival.

Chewbacca had tried as they'd packed the ship, told her she shouldn't do this. That some questions were best left unanswered. But if this was her chance to ask she couldn't pass it up. She didn't want her friends to join but when the bay door opened there they were; guardians at her sides solemn in their duty.

The hut was simple. Small. Maybe two or three rooms to guess from looking at it outside. It was a fair walk from the rest of town and where the other buildings had cleared away the closest trees this one nestled in amongst them. The red hammock was faded and torn. Well loved she wanted to think. As if the sound were an explosion the creak of a door caught her full attention.

He was taller than her with a weary face marked by frown lines. That old man had been right. His eyes were stubborn, a deep brown like hers. She noted that while he acted relaxed his right hand hovered near a blaster.

"Who were you sent by?" He asked of the strangers that had landed nearby more wary of the wookiee and the man than the young girl with them. Rey didn't know what to say. She'd practised so many things in her head but now that the moment had come all that she could find was silence.

"No one sent us." Finn finally answered. She had never seen such hatred in her friend's eyes. It hurt but the part of her that acknowledged it appreciated the sentiment. Taking a breath and looking back to the man she finally found the courage to step forward. At long last he looked at her properly. First there was suspicion and then something close to curiosity.

"He said my mother was dead. Is that true?" Rey had to ask. She had to know. She'd thought they were both dead when she'd finally given up thanks to Kylo's words dragging the truth out of her like someone drawing out poison. She didn't remember their faces but in that moment she had remembered being sold, had remembered the truth she buried within her subconscious because it hurt too much. They had promised to come back but there had been dishonesty in their eyes. She couldn't read it as a child but now that the memory had completely returned she could see it there.

"You shouldn't have come here." The man answered with irritation in his voice no other emotion betrayed in the mask of his face, not even recognition. He let his stance drop deeming Rey as harmless, reaching for a flask in his pocket.

"Is she dead?!" Rey cried out a second time hurt fuelling an unstable psychosis in her as her tone took that of desperation. This seemed to slow his movements, a sense of caution about him but that moment of hesitation passed and he took his swig.

"Yes. Died on Jakku not long after we sold you." He explained casually with complete disregard for the affect the statement had on her. The words were like a blow to Rey, her body reeling from the hit as anguish twisted in her chest. The stranger cracked an ache in his neck, the movement catching Rey's eye as she noticed the start of a scar on his chest exposed by his low collar before he turned to leave. In a panic she stepped forward her abandonment desperate for some better answer to all this, to all the years of loneliness. To all the missed opportunities that she'd rejected because of a promise.

"Why didn't you come back? I waited…I waited a long time for you!" She shrieked in accusation the words heavy on her tongue but begging to be made heard. An expression of distaste contorted his face making it clear he wanted her to leave. Rey felt the walls closing in again as anxiety coiled around her heart like barbed wire.

"Grow up. This kind of bullshit is why I didn't want a family but that dumb bitch wouldn't abort you. Happy to sell you for some spare cash though just so she could have a few nights of bliss. Was too high on whatever the fuck she was smoking to even defend herself when those assholes screwed us over." He elaborated finishing whatever was in his flask. "Fucking nearly died from the knife in my chest and lost the merch. Didn't even have enough spare from selling you to get me a ride off that junk heap." He concluded, turning to leave again.

The world shook at her feet. These were not the words Rey wanted to hear, even expected to hear. Why had her mother wanted to keep her if she was to be sold? Rey's father hadn't wanted her. As she struggled to understand what she was being told, anxiety demanded he remained to explain. She wasn't done talking. Like before, her mind reached out, freezing him in place with a sensation that had once held her terrified in front of a monster. What was she becoming?

Who had they been? Where did her link to the Force come from? A failure of a mercenary and his dead getaway pilot that became junk traders before they had even destroyed the last of their legacy. People who had promised to come back. She'd waited. She'd had people betray her simply because she wouldn't take the opportunity to leave with them because she had to stay on Jakku. She'd rejected Han's offer because she had to get back. She would have died there waiting for no one. She was no one.

"Rey". Finn warned in a soft tone as her body shook. As the thoughts clashed in her mind a ferocity rose up to bury them. Her body moved on instinct, her quarterstaff in her hand in one flowing movement as she leapt the distance, breaking her hold on the stranger in the same movement that she cracked her weapon across his face.

He swore as he hit the ground, blood spraying in front of him. Finn and Chewbacca cried out but they weren't attacking him. They were trying to hold her back. She tried to focus on them to find her sense of reason but the stones in her heart had become more weighted dragging her down into the depths of despair. He looked back at her. Those weren't her eyes then. These weren't fierce and defiant. They were defeated.

"I am no one." She admitted to herself, letting the words deflate her. Was this what Kylo had meant? Had he seen her father and known or did he think they were both dead? Did it matter? " _You_ are no one." She trailed on as her body swayed. His temple was bleeding from where she'd hit him, crimson weeping onto his eye and down his cheek in some mockery of mourning. But this man didn't care. He'd given up on life years ago. He had no child. Rey was a lonely scavenger to him with no relation. She needed to turn away, to look elsewhere. When she circled around to see her friends, her family she knew that she had potential to be something more than the girl sold to Jakku by this stranger.

"But I will become some one…you…you're just going to die with no legacy to remember." She promised. The words were childish, she understood that. But she couldn't help herself. With a shudder to contain the sob threatening to escape she glanced at him one last time before staggering as she struggled to make her way back to the Millennium Falcon. Each step weighted with a lifetime of lonely despair.

The familiar hum helped the ring of her ears die down. She gasped in a breath hoping to steady herself but instead it brought about the tears she'd been holding. Except as she wept she found strong arms around her. She breathed deeply finding comfort in Finn's scent and presence. Testosterone, some sort of artificial smell she could never quite identify that she thought was traces of his armour and origins as a Storm Trooper. Then amongst it was the musky aroma of Chewie who growled a low, soothing whine as he stroked her hair.

"I should have listened to you both." She confessed as she pulled back, wiping at her eyes. The looks they cast back were tender. They didn't revel in being right, they wished they had been wrong. That was more comforting than anything they could have said. She felt awkward and embarrassed looking anywhere but their faces. "Shall we? About time we got going." She spoke up to distract them from her weakness with a final croak. They cast adoring gazes before allowing her to digress from her awkward display of emotion. The trio moved to the cockpit where they prepped for departure. The scavenger couldn't help but notice that the man they had just met was now asleep where he had been left on the ground. A vein of hatred pulsed through her mind then deflated. He wasn't worth it.

"Looks like General Organa's sent out a message for us." Finn noted as he helped Chewie start up the systems. With Rey's urges he played it.

"I need you guys to head to Carus. There's an old friend there I want you to meet who will be helping us with our recruitment problem. People are inspired to join our cause but we're going to need someone with better financial backing and political sway to get some real damage done" Leia's stern voice ordered. With a destination in mind and an attempt at distraction the group left a planet that had provided answers both needed and twisted. Rey was trying hard to show a sense of purpose but she felt the cracks inside. The torment tangling her attention.

She left Chewie and Finn to pilot; the young Jedi needed to meditate. The traditional method was hard and she found she didn't have the focus to attain any sense of peace. Did she really faintly hear the whispers of Luke scolding her or was her mind playing tricks? With a hiss of frustration she gave up, choosing to find that peace in a way she was more familiar with. Her mind was easier to untangle when she was performing maintenance on a ship. Finding the minor faults in the system she disappeared into her work, letting her subconscious trail on issues she didn't want in the forefront of her mind. It almost worked.

* * *

"We have already chartered a course to the next location. The intel we have preceived is a promising lead on the next outpost." General Hux confirmed as he met with Kylo's stride who had just returned from another mission with his knights. The dark haired man wondered how many Resistance bases remained. They had been finding a surprising number of supporters following the tale of Luke's valiant efforts to help on Crait. It was beginning to inconvenience their other squadrons. Kylo's viciousness seemed to be their only winning asset at this point.

"Good. Is there any word on the location of General Organa or the girl?" He asked with a strict tone no hint of any emotion one might expect of him when thinking of his relation to either of the women mentioned. Armitage eyed him wanting to spot even the slightest suggestion of weakness. He couldn't find it and resigned to acknowledging there had been no success as yet. Ren was relieved though he didn't show that instead letting feigned annoyance settle on his mask. He asked to be notified when they had arrived at the next location so he and his knights could continue their work.

So far he had cemented his place as Supreme Leader. The generals questioned him less with each new victory, each enemy killed. The less doubt they harboured the safer he became. It was good. Satisfied he stalked the passages back to his chambers intending to meditate and train but in an empty hallway he noticed a familiar feeling. Like the air had shifted in reaction to new space being occupied. Standing still his head tilted expecting to see her over his shoulder. Instead the space was empty. This time he had to search. He could hear her.

 _Where are you?_ His mind questioned and he noticed the stillness. She was working on something or she had been but like Kylo she had sensed the connection interrupting her progress. When she couldn't see him had she stopped what she was doing in the hope that she could hide? His eyes scanned the halls but there was nothing. Except a feeling like a thread pulling at his hand. As if they knew where to carry him his feet moved. Left, right, right…down. She was lying on the ground, curled in a strange way. Where was she?

"I'm really not in the mood." She muttered adjusting the measurements on a tool in her hand, focusing on it so intently one might think it meant all the world. The gears clicked and then she began working as if nothing had interrupted her, slender muscles straining as she laboured on something mechanical that he could not see.

"Why can't we manipulate it…?" He asked looking around his empty hallway like it might hold the answers. Despite their connection forcing them to see each other Rey deliberately ignored him. A muscle in his jaw twitched, the only sign that this had caused irritation. Kylo was trying desperately to imply a sense of calm. He wanted to be in control. As he worked on his mask he noticed the cracks in hers. She had been crying. Her eyes were red and the tears had left trails on her face. He wanted to feel satisfied by this but instead something in him hurt. "What happened?" He asked unintentionally mentally cursing his own weakness. Where was his discipline?

"Nothing." She cut him off curtly but this seemed to spur whatever was causing her pain as more tears welled in her eyes. Angrily she brushed at them with her other hand and feigned focus on her task but instead a slew of curses flew out of her mouth as she dropped her tool. There was a burn on her hand. She brought it to her mouth, hissing in anger before sighing deeply as she closed her eyes. He could feel her willing the moment to end. There was something else too. A darkness flickering amongst the light he felt from her. She had never shied away from the dark he could admit, that was why she had contacted him directly after entering that pool, she didn't fear it like Luke did. But this was different. This was something she wanted to hide.

"Please stop." She ordered with strained patience as her eyes remained closed. She was struggling to find her calm. Whatever had caused this she didn't want to share it with him. He tried not to betray that this stung as he crouched low to attempt to look at her better. Would she be in this pain if she had taken his hand? She wouldn't need to do maintenance, a waste of her talents in his eyes.

"If you had joined me you wouldn't have to tinker on ships." He informed her thinking he would make her regret her decision to turn him down but the look she shot him suggested otherwise. She had seen the childish sulking in his words easily. Ashamed, he looked at the floor knowing it had been a cheap shot. She wouldn't care about being spared menial tasks and if he was honest he knew she actually preferred such work.

Something in her gaze changed. He sensed it as cautiously he looked up through his lashes. He couldn't read the expression on her face he only knew it wasn't hostile. She wanted to speak of something painful but before he could ask her what was on her mind their moment shattered, footsteps alerting him to someone joining his empty hall. The sound was a siren breaking him away from a pleasant dream; the connection over he no longer saw her lying, curled defensively in a strange, unseen place. The bubble of air she had occupied rushed to life, filling the empty space in his lonely fortress as he slowly stood. He resisted the urge to glare after the man who had ended their interaction and stalked to his rooms.

As his image flickered out she gasped a shout that she couldn't permit herself to voice. She had almost cried out, begging him to stay. With this breath came fresh tears. She was angry with him for lying but she also wanted to ask so many questions. She wanted to shout at him for Han. She wanted to share with him her pain. Rey knew that he would understand it in a way Chewie and Finn couldn't.

Panic helped her bury her torment when she heard rushed footsteps headed her way. She wiped furiously at her face and reached for the tool she had dropped earlier.

"Rey, we've arrived and made contact with General Organa. She only just arrived. We'll be landing shortly." Finn informed his scavenger friend. She listened to the shuffle of his steps as he tried to locate what crawl space she had found until Finn's familiar face appeared above. She could see the recognition in his eyes at the poorly hidden tears but he said nothing.

"Right." She responded gesturing that he help her up out of the small area she'd been working in. Together they moved the floor grate back on top. By the time they'd gathered their things the Millennium Falcon had landed and Chewbacca had joined them at the exit.

The first thing to hit Rey was the cold night air. It was welcoming together with so many scents she couldn't identify any of them. Spices, perfumes, things she didn't know the names for. Ignorant to the building or other ship nearby she stepped towards the edge of their landing site. Down below a city glittered with light and life. Even in the darkness of night she could see the colours that celebrated a simpler, superficial way.

"Rey!" A familiar voice cried out distracting her from her wonder. It had been a nice reprieve, losing herself in the jewel of a city. She glanced back to Poe who smiled pleasantly as Finn and Rose embraced. She wondered how many chances they'd had to discuss or explore their budding romance and felt somewhat guilty for taxing her friend's time. Should she have asked Finn about his thoughts on it? Covering her new emotional scars with a lie; Rey excitedly greeted BB-8 as he barrelled across the distance to see her, blips and beeps telling her of his adventures with Poe and the Resistance while she had been gone.

"Sounds like we've given them some good hits back." The scavenger noted as the ace pilot caught up. Before he could get fully into his swagger routine an older voice interrupted.

"Not enough. We need to hit harder." Leia reminded though the smirk hinted at the corners of her mouth suggested she was feeling confident in their current course. Rey braced herself for the questions of the outcome of her tasks but was grateful when a new voice cut in.

"Leia! It's good to see you!" A cheerful man cried out with arms open in a welcoming gesture. He was dressed extravagantly wearing a cape in which the underside was a rich golden weave complementing bold colours highlighting an adoration for wealth and accentuating a smile that betrayed mischief and pleasure even as age left its mark on him.

"It's good to see you Lando. I've got a few people for you to meet." Leia replied as the pair embraced indicating that they were old friends before everyone was introduced.

"Lando Calrissian? _The_ Lando Calrissian?" Rey asked allowing the awe to seep into her voice. Finn was the only one to chuckle when it was revealed she was not amazed to meet him for his part in defeating the Empire but for his part in the history of the Millennium Falcon as everyone else stood dumbstruck although Calrissian clearly took it with pride. Finn had expected as much of her recalling a similar experience when she had met a certain scruffy smuggler.

Lando led the group inside, explaining to them more than to Leia what he had been up to since. He illustrated his parts in the events that took place following the fall of the Empire and his reclamation of Cloud City with a grandiose flourish of words but all his bravado was taken with a grain of salt as those meeting him noticed a flare for romantic tales of adventure. Somehow in the years that followed the Empire's defeat his familiarity with the New Republic lead to the Tibanna Mining Company granting him Barony of Carus. This ownership together with Bespin had earned him a seat on their council having sway in the finances of the Bespin system. He had been informed of Leia's visit and as such had prepared a feast leading them through his extravagant home rich with vibrant colours complimented by gold awnings to a dining hall filled with meals none of them had dared to dream of in the long struggle of hidden bases and space flight. Rey noticed Leia apprehensively standing at the entrance though that mischievous smirk was on her lips.

"Here I was expecting General Hux sitting at the other end of the table." She commented. The younger members of the group looked to her in confusion but there was understanding in Lando's eyes. He knew whatever jibe she was making.

"Not Kylo?" He asked boldly. A few of his staff sensed the weight of the name and seemed to hesitate in meal preparations for the group to take their seats.

"Hell no." Leia immediately responded snapping any thought of tension at the mention of her son. "You think he'd have the patience to wait for us here? He would have met us at the ship." She continued moving to take her seat. Rey was envious of her strength in that moment. She couldn't imagine the pain in the mother's heart at the mention of Ben and yet here she was deliberately jesting about his temperament.

As everyone began to dig into food they'd never had or had missed Rey found she'd lost her excitement. She should have been eager to try the flavourful meal provided but instead she listened intently to Lando and Leia's exchange. The General was asking for his aid in recruitment and the construction of new ships but he was hesitant.

"They're afraid." He responded to her latest fire of pressure referring to the other council members he had to get approval from before he could promise to rally his people together and encourage the support of similar governments.

"Of _what_?" Leia replied with exasperation in her tone.

"Of what happened to the last political group to oppose the First Order. No one wants to risk being obliterated by another Death Star." The dark skinned man reminded no hint of his earlier smile and playful nature. Organa gestured as if their dinner held her response clearly frustrated with the excuse.

"We've already taken it out along with a decent chunk of their fleet _and_ Snoke. The Resistance is only getting stronger with more recruits after Crait. We've never been in a better position to take them down. The Council can pull their heads out of their arses and start helping." The strong woman reprimanded. Lando couldn't deny she had a point. This was the political mind that had kept the New Republic together as long as she could before being cast out. But it was also a woman who had been so focused on this that she had caused the loneliness in her son that Rey empathised with. Unintended, she felt her thoughts circling back to her new pain and discreetly she excused herself.

The fresh air felt more soothing than the atmosphere inside and the young Jedi found she liked working on the exterior of the Falcon against the backdrop of the glittering city. There were people there unaffected by the war. Some ignorant and spiteful, others educated and grateful. They lived selfish lives and didn't want a part in this conflict that felt galactic but was remarkably small when you looked at the picture as a whole.

Some of them lived comfortably; others struggled to survive as Rey had back on Jakku. It was the life of people born into a position they could not control and could only strive to escape. Although she had barely endeavoured to free herself. They lived their lives mostly unaffected by the brawls between the two factions.

She recalled a time when she'd fixed a crashed ship hoping to sell it for enough rations to live contentedly as she waited. She'd tried to do it alone, in secret but had failed. The help hadn't been so bad…But they'd had different dreams. She couldn't leave Jakku and so she'd lost her sale and lost her escape. Rey couldn't count how many times similar things had happened. She'd been waiting for that pitiful excuse of a man her whole life and a mother long since dead who probably wouldn't have come back either. She nearly gave up on joining Han; kriff, if things hadn't gone the way they had she probably would have. She had waited for nothing saved only by the unexpected comfort that Finn had come for her.

As she drowned in remorse there was the sound, the shift in the air that alerted her to his presence. She didn't want to turn around and instead remained seated on the edge of the Falcon staring out at that sparkling city bathed in late sunset where the last edges of light clung to a darkening sky. She could feel his gaze on her. She almost wanted him to be angry like before. It was easier to face his accusations than his sorrow. She hated that pleading look in his eyes that broke her heart. Rey sensed his impatience, too brash to wait for her to speak.

"What happened?" He asked in repetition, his voice a gentle purr. She despised how softly he spoke to her; why couldn't he shout like he was famous for? Why wasn't he pressing her mind for her location? He should have been. But she was only thinking this because she was desperately trying to contain the pain threatening to show. Rey wanted to hide from him and yet her every instinct wanted to bare her wounds to that monster of a man.

"You said they were dead…you saw it. Were you lying?" She asked unable to hold back the question she wanted to ask most any longer. She had intended to sound calm but there were tears in her voice and in her eyes as she looked to her fidgeting hands before to her side, away from him. How many times had they wept in front of each other?

She wouldn't turn his way but she could sense Kylo's apprehension. He breathed in slowly, holding the air like it was his last lifeline. Like this next moment could end everything and he desperately wanted to keep this connection. She shifted her gaze back still not ready to look him in the eye as she watched him at the edges of her perception.

"Did you know that it was half true?" She insisted tilting her head to the side having seen his movement in her peripheral vision. As if he was trying to approach a wild animal he moved slowly taking a seat beside her. She shuddered wanting to deny she found comfort in his presence next to her but she couldn't. His massive frame, even just beside her felt like a shield against the pains of the world. He was hesitating. Ben swallowed carefully choosing his words deliberately.

"I didn't want you to know." He confessed avoiding her gaze when the strong willed woman turned accusatory eyes on him. How _dare_ he? Indignation bubbled up but his soft voice silenced her unspoken screams. "I didn't want you to meet him. I thought if I hid it from you I could protect you from the pain I could see there." He continued interrupting her defensive tirade. He looked up cautiously through his lashes, his shoulders hunched as if ready for the daggers of her words. It disarmed her. She found herself lost in his gaze, travelling past the torment of her pointless waiting and instead thrown into a painful moment where they pleaded with each other to take opposing sides. Tears sprung to her eyes again as a fresh wave of sorrow overwhelmed her.

"I wish you were here." She confessed feeling that this shocked him, sensing his emotions that struggled to grasp her sincerity. Reeling from their honesty with each other, Rey wept openly as the bond ended highlighting that they were light-years apart on conflicting sides of a war she wanted desperately to end.

* * *

((A/N: I messed up didn't I? And now we're headed toward territory that I haven't gone over as much as the first lot of chapters. Hopefully you are still enjoying this.

Even though I took the story the direction I did I'm actually of the opinion Kylo didn't lie to her about her parents and that we really never will see them. But it felt like the natural direction to shake Rey's strength just enough to soften both of our heroes. Hopefully I haven't caused people to turn away from my story because of it.

Now please bear with me while I get up on my soap box. For all the arguments for and against the idea of Rey's parents being nobodies, I don't really see people saying this and I lurk too much to state it in those threads but I just want to explain why I _personally_ am 110% perfectly okay with them being nobodies. Because if Rey's parent/s were Luke or Obi-Wan or any of the various fan theories out there (except maybe Palpatine) then I would have to _hate_ those characters. Like, truly despise them. Because this lovable little idiot listened to their promise to return and she _waited_. God damn it, she waited hard. She struggled daily on bread crumbs, she rejected Han Solo; she got screwed over because she wanted to monopolise her opportunity to leave instead of take it because she couldn't bear missing out on them coming back when they never would. Who knows how many times things like that happened, how many opportunities she turned down because what if she wasn't there when they came back for her? To me that is so tragically depressing. I want to bundle Rey in my arms and tell her it's okay. And to have one of the people who put her through that be someone like these idolised, amazing characters would make me hate them so damn much no matter how it was rationalised on why they never came back. So let them be dead people we'll never meet who I can violently shake my fist at as I revel in her new family who love her way better than they ever would have. /rant

Now, where were we? Only one review to respond to: I think he'd be pretty jealous Mystic 777. But who knows. ;)

Ugh. I made this too long. Hope you guys are still enjoying this. Is the weekly update pace too slow? Did I take this in a bad direction? The lighter stuff is coming very soon; I promise I'll stop breaking their hearts. Constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated.))


	4. Chapter 4 - Unwanted Leader

Chapter 4 – Unwanted Leader

Sightless eyes were cast along a rift, a gorge tearing its way through another planet reminding him of a battle that felt like a lifetime ago. One that had marked him with his own scars as snow fell around him. He had been staring into it from a distance when he'd felt the change, seen her sitting there. Now his eyes saw nothing as he reflected on her last words seated at the edge. She had confessed to needing him. He couldn't describe the feeling in his chest that declaration had left with Ren. It was painful but light, promising and also a little sad.

He wanted to bury under righteous anger, pronounce the distance of their connection her decision upon rejecting his offer to rule with him. But Kylo found he didn't have the commitment to the ruse. She had looked so utterly defeated.

Swallowing as he looked down while the sun of the foreign planet continued to set fading the golden light into a subtle blue-grey, he considered his vision in the past. When they had touched hands he had seen so much. He had felt the promise of her by his side and had been confident in it. And he had also seen her history. Her parents leaving her on that nowhere planet with false pledges. Her mother dying and then her father alive somewhere he barely recognised. He should have told her but something compelled him not to. Not to spite her or make her lose hope in anything but him. It had never been done with cruel intent. Countless times he'd attempted to or successfully invaded her mind and he'd felt that loneliness, had recognised it in that bare instant when they reached out to each other. The idea of her finding out it had been all for nothing had eaten away at him and he'd wanted to hide that secret from her forever. But that was painful on its own and now he regretted it.

 _She learnt to cherish the family she's made._ A stubborn old voice explained and the moment of solemn thought was gone, replaced by irritation. He felt his skin prickle with hatred. Pursing his lips in resignation he faced the ghost of his past not wanting to get up and turn around but he couldn't sit staring out into the abyss forever.

"How long until one of them tries to kill her in her sleep?" Kylo hissed back as he finally locked his gaze on the transparent body of his former master. In defiance Luke showed no shame.

"She didn't kill _her_ father." The Force ghost confided causing Ren to look away. She had every right to and he was a nobody with no one to miss him. He bit his lip to hide the shake in his jaw as he reflected on a father who had tried in his own absent way. She had admired him even as Ben saw the man as a sorry excuse for a father. But he could no longer find his disappointment. A part of him acknowledged his regret. The rest acknowledged his weakness. For all his bravado to Snoke he had hesitated. For one instant there had been the chance he might fail. In the end it had all been for nothing. That thought was bitter in his mouth and tears unbidden came to his eyes while he lost himself in memories of smiles and golden dice. He tried to pinpoint when the whispers began, the fighting in the night when they thought he was asleep. When did it change? When did they decide to send him to _that_ man?

"What do you want?" He gruffly asked trying to chase away his morbid recollections with anger. But there was little bite to his tone.

"To remind you that the Force connects everyone regardless of their birthright. And to make sure you're aware of the danger you're in." Luke confessed with a weary tone. Kylo's eyes narrowed in frustration considering it was too late to worry for his safety now.

"I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order. The whole galaxy is going to bow down to me once I've burnt it to the ground." Ren promised but the conviction of these words rang hollow. He could see in his uncle's eyes that he understood Kylo's position was fragile. He thought this over trying to decide what needed to be done. For starters he should stop having conversations with force ghosts, he resolved. The young man feigning deliberation began to walk past the image of his old life, intending to return to his ship to leave this forsaken planet with his knights.

"And when you have won, what next? What do you do when the echoes of Snoke's origin creep out from the unknown regions to take what is owed?" Luke enquired halting Kylo's retreat as he froze in place. That was a forever present thought at the back of his mind that he wanted to forget. He had not been a part of the First Order during its birth when the remnant of the Empire had disappeared into unchartered territory to escape reformation. He had not seen or learnt of anything from there bar Snoke's training. Even his Attendants were a mystery to Ren.

 _Remember Ben…An unwanted leader isn't a leader for long._ The old weary voice advised as Kylo felt his uncle's presence fade. He wanted to turn and shout, to scream that it was too late to guide him, to teach a student who had outgrown his master; but that too passed quickly. He was left with a steady irritation that clenched his jaw as he rejoined his group.

"Master Ren, General Hux has requested we return. He wants an update on our progress tracking down the girl and General Organa." Isamu alerted their leader as Kylo returned. He nodded in acknowledgement as he boarded the ship where everyone had been waiting concealing his thoughts. None of them would dare to actively read his mind but it was better to be safe and hide his potential disloyalty. It didn't help that Armitage was becoming increasingly demanding. He and the other generals would soon try to put pressure on the young knight. It felt like the first whispers of their fragile alliance shattering. If it broke would these men be loyal to him as they had been since the night Luke had betrayed him? Would it be them against the First Order and the Resistance, struggling to survive as their own entity? It was a future that felt all too possible; the potential a thickness in the air that weighed heavily on his skin and sluggishly clouded his mind. How long could he keep up this ruse?

* * *

She had slept or at least she thought she had. When the connection had broken she had taken a moment to compose herself then gotten straight back to work on the Millennium Falcon. At some point she had drifted off. But all too soon she had woken from nightmares, new and old, and had gotten back to work. When the others had roused and stumbled out to check on her she had cheerily reassured them of her wellbeing. Then Rey had volunteered for any errands required, not wanting to sit in on diplomatic chats or let Finn look at her too closely. Every time he did she saw the recognition in his eyes at the hurting she was going through. Sometimes she forgot that he didn't know his parents either. Were they still alive? Did they hope to see him one day or did they mourn him as gone forever?

Rey sighed as another day drew to a close, the sun moving low to bask the extravagant mansion of Lando Calrissian in a golden light that was warm and welcoming. And still she found refuge in hiding out on the spacecraft she had once referred to as garbage. Currently Rey was trying to divert power for one of the more unnecessary resources of the ship so it could be used for more efficient manoeuvres with the aging transport. It was the kind of work she could lose herself in, forgetting all the worries taxing her mind. But her eyes kept blurring, muscles protesting. She had to focus. Remove the wrong wire and there'd be consequences. If she died would her father be told? Would he care? Would Ben care?

Her concentration broken as she thought back to her moment of weakness where she had confessed to needing the tall ex-Jedi, she felt her head sway in her mixture of anger and shame. She was too tired for distractions. Her eyes jarred open as she realised in her micro-sleep her hands had slipped.

"Kriff!" Rey hissed. It was the only thing she could say before heat, fire, and noise blasted out. She felt the back of her head connect with something hard and next she knew she was on the ground and there was a terrible smell in the air while she waited for the bright white to fade from her vision.

"Rey!" She heard a familiar panicked voice cry out. She wanted to yell at him to stop, the noise of his heavy boots hitting the floor grates causing searing pain in her head. There was a familiar roar but she was too disorientated to translate, unsure if Chewie was crying out in worry or annoyed with her for breaking the ship after he'd worked so hard on fixing the things Unkar Plutt had ignorantly sabotaged.

"Rey, are you okay?" Poe's concerned voice nearby cut in amongst the colours and noise. She blinked up to her small squadron of supporters who assessed her and the damage. It had only been a little explosion she thought gruffly trying to pretend she had a right to be indignant about the fuss they were making.

"Can you fix it?" A weary mother's voice cut through as the wookiee looked over the damage. A short grunt confirmed he could as Rey tried to dissuade Finn's scolding words of concern. She had the sense to look ashamed when Leia's gaze finally shifted to her.

"My hand slipped." The scavenger tried to excuse, pushing Finn off as she forced herself to stand. She swayed a little but attributed that more to her lack of sleep than her head injury.

"Because you haven't stopped since you picked us up. Get some rest. _That's an order_." The general commanded with a stern gaze and a slight grimace of worry that betrayed more adoration than Rey felt comfortable with. She glanced to the newest person to join them inside the Falcon to avoid her discomfort.

"Are you trying to blow up my ship?" Lando queried with enough humour in his voice to break the tension of worried friends. It was a joke but it also made Rey start to wonder who the ship belonged to now. When everything was done where did it go? Where did Chewie go?

"I can fix it." The young woman tried to interject feeling guilty that Chewbacca had to mend her mistake but an immediate chorus of disapproval confirmed she was doing nothing.

"Why don't you use one of my guest rooms to clean up and get some sleep?" Lando offered showing that behind his cheery nature he was troubled. "Check with a medical droid first just in case you have a concussion." He added as an afterthought. Rey had intended to refuse but when Finn shot her a look and squeezed her shoulder she decided she didn't have a say in the matter.

Followed by her dutiful troupe who made sure she was doing as ordered, Rey made her way inside. After she had confirmed her injuries as minor she managed to brush off her entourage, promising to have a hot shower and then go to bed. She sighed in exasperation appreciating the concern but frustrated with it nonetheless.

"They have a point you know." A sweet voice confided causing Rey to turn and spot the other young woman of the group. Rose looked back sheepishly. "It would be very demoralising to have our Jedi drop in the middle of battle because she won't rest." The young technician advised in a sincere tone. Rey bobbed her head somewhat sheepishly.

"Yeah…It's just hard to stop." She confessed thinking over all the things she didn't want to plague her mind when she had nothing else to focus on. Rose smiled with a sadness to her eyes that displayed her understanding. It reminded Rey she hadn't spoken too much with her and she felt guilty for not reaching out. Finn was her best friend and Rose clearly meant a lot to him. "How are you and Finn…?" She asked too blunt to tiptoe around the matter. It caused the other girl to blush and laugh, looking at her feet because she didn't quite have the courage to look Rey in the eye.

"Good…I think. He needs time to work it out himself…and I get it." Rose began to explain, losing the rest of her words in an anxious babble. "But that's all okay…I'll be here when he's ready." She concluded with a tender tone to her voice. The affection in her words made Rey immensely happy for her friend. But also a little sad as she reflected on the one person she shared that kind of bond with. In a weird kind of way at least.

"He'll get there." She declared with more confidence in her voice than she actually had on the matter. She had no more experience than they to act like she knew the answers. But the smile Rose shot back showed she appreciated the sentiment.

A silence stretched between them, neither able to think of anything else to say until Rey's headache reminded her what she had been doing.

"I better go get some rest before someone straps me to a bed." She stated leaving with parting goodbyes before she disappeared to one of Lando's extravagant guestrooms, wondering if she should talk to Finn about any of this. She resolved neither of them would be comfortable with that and decided against it.

Privately she would have preferred to sleep on the Falcon. The soft bed and decorative spaces made her uncomfortable. They were wondrous and left her in awe but they also made her uneasy. She couldn't help that instinctual distrust for any form of luxury. Life had made it apparent for so long that such things were not hers to keep.

Chasing away the morbid reflection, she disappeared to the connecting bathroom, beginning to remove the various belts and straps of her current ensemble. As she did she checked her reflection in a nearby mirror. Her face was covered in soot with a cut on her left eyebrow. When she let her fingers tangle into her hair she could find the lump on the back of her head where she had hit the wall. Thankfully it was just that with no gash to compliment its tenderness. With some rest she would be fine but first a shower to clean herself up.

She turned on the taps so the water could heat up as she stripped the last of her garments, steam clouding up the room quickly while she ducked into the decently sized glass cube letting the water trail its way across her aches and bruises, washing part of her weariness away.

A hot shower was just what she'd needed. No matter how much she distracted herself with missions or unnecessary maintenance work or training, her body was exhausted. It needed rest. But rest left her unguarded and without distraction and that too was wearing. Now that she had been ordered to take a moment to herself in the extravagant home they were visiting she relented to the weary pain of her body that was demanding relief. Her eagerness for duties to occupy her mind had been done for her sake she had told herself but it was now the cause for her being reprimanded for not letting her body recover. They had a point. What good would she be if she collapsed in the middle of battle from overexertion?

The hot water seemed to sear the tension off of her, moaning as she rubbed her hand along her aching neck, muscles and stress unwinding as it flowed over the knots in her back. Then there was that all too familiar sound. Rey's eyes sprung open, her body no longer relaxed as she spun. Why were they almost always facing away from each other? Did that matter?

"Get out!" She screamed instinctively as she tried her best to cover herself with her hands though the attempt was almost futile. She tried not to focus on the way he had innocently turned around, originally resigned to another conversation and potential argument from her tone but then surprise had swept over him almost like a physical force as his eyes widened. They'd flicked down like he couldn't help it and he'd taken steps back. Despite her shrieking at him to leave, despite the brooding nature she'd always seen in him, an uncharacteristic smirk pulled at the corner of his gaping mouth.

"Do you always have to one up me?" He joked in indication to her discomfort at seeing him shirtless what felt like a lifetime ago. Now, of all times, he found his sense of humour. A slew of curses erupted from her mouth and she found herself more frustrated by the chuckle they incited though he had the sense to bite his lip in an attempt to stifle it.

"Move!" She ordered but when she tried to barge past him he obeyed only to get in her way, her nose nearly bumping his chest as he looked down at her. Why was he so damn tall? Furiously and defiantly she looked up toward him as if this would force him to move. Rey glared all of her ferocity in that one stare but it didn't intimidate him. He made play that it had, hands up in surrender as he stepped aside but he was still smiling. He couldn't see the door she slammed open but he could see her bare behind as she ran for a towel. When Rey turned back around, face burning shades of red she had no name for; he was deliberately still staring down. But despite all her indignation she couldn't help feeling one thing. He had smiled. Genuinely smiled and something about that was good. Something about that was hope in the future she had seen.

"You know, as far as reasons for joining the Resistance go, that's a pretty good one." He mused, leaning on a doorway she couldn't see. Her eyes narrowed not sure how to respond to this side of him, a side she felt even he hadn't seen.

"If you were actually here I'd smack that grin off your face." She threatened hugging her towel like it was a lifeline. This only seemed to encourage him as Ben's smirk broke into a toothy chuckle feeling no conviction to the warning. As if to highlight this he stood up and moved across the room, the steam shifting in his wake as he approached close again taking full advantage of their height difference, forcing Rey to look up to him.

"No. You wouldn't." Ren's voice purred in promise to her. It caused her to falter. She hadn't expected him to be this confident. Was it a hoax? Was he as unsure about the specifics of their connection, of whatever their relationship was like her? Or had his proposition on Snoke's ship sincerely had the underlying meaning she never let herself think about.

The smile on his face faltered at her scrutinising stare and she knew the moment was lost. He stood straight, disciplined as the mask, the emotional mask he worked so hard on took its place. She felt his mind probing, trying to determine where she and the leaders of her group were. She closed him out solemnly. She could watch as the muscles moved in his face betraying the annoyance this was, a twitch of his mouth, the tension in his jaw. Mere seconds ago he had been teasing her, a stranger to them both. Why did it hurt so much that the expression on his face now was more familiar?

She gasped at the physical pain as the steam swirled in the place he had once stood, filling the empty air she secretly wanted him to occupy. Was their really hope for the future where he smiled like that more often than not?

He could still feel the dampness in the air. Parts of his uniform wet from when she'd bumped into him when he'd refused to move. Kylo had played it off confidently but really he'd been flustered. How she had looked when he'd turned around was almost burned into his memory and he bit back a groan as his head tilted up. It had taken him too long to remember his duty.

It had been the look in her eyes that had reminded him. Some silent accusation that he had betrayed her. Rey had made him feel guilty with that expression on her face and with rehearsed ease he had covered that defensively with anger. Calm and obedient but rage all the same. Feigning a right to her mind, he had become frustrated when she rejected him and then the scavenger had looked at him with such tired, lonely eyes.

A sharp reminder woke him from his distraction as he noted activity on the ship. Something had happened. Kylo didn't have time to muse on a woman who could no longer stand by his side like he had hoped.

He made his way out of his chambers, heavy but quick steps wondering what Armitage had failed to inform him of. He soon spotted the red haired man headed his way, some mockery of an intention to keep Ren up to date on the commotion of the ship.

"Supreme Leader! I was just on my way to personally report some good news to you!" General Hux declared with a pleased smirk that made Kylo wary. There was too much cheer in this. Some silent victory had been made that could prove to be the undoing of the Jedi killer.

"What is it?" He asked keeping a deliberate control to his voice not wanting to betray any sentiment.

"We have located General Organa and her closest advisors. One of our best squadrons happens to be nearby" The general informed him with keen eyes looking for any sliver of intent. Surprise hit Kylo like a physical force and he strained to remain impassive in his reaction. He focused on Armitage to hide his hesitation.

"Good. Order them to wait for our arrival so I can see the end to this personally." Ren commanded beginning to walk past General Hux intending to grab his knights and prepare all while considering his next move but his enemy's subsequent words froze him in place.

"I'm afraid I've already commanded the attack. I assumed you'd want this dealt with as soon as possible while we have the opportunity and the element of surprise." The sly voice called out where the General had remained in place. Kylo could feel his gaze on him and though he struggled to maintain it, he turned on Armitage with his mask in place. Despite the fact he did not smile, Hux's eyes betrayed his delight upon imparting this news. He revelled in his triumph. Kylo sorely wanted to strangle the look off his face but he was already too close to revealing his true emotions. While his mind trembled with effort his body remained motionless keeping his façade in place. Power vibrated within him threatening to spill out like electricity in the air.

"A pity…still. We must set a course to ensure everything is dealt with efficiently. We don't want any stragglers to keep the flame going." He mused each word a terrible lie but he played it well. He saw a hint of frustration in his opponent's eyes who struggled to remain smug before he turned to leave. The time to decide what course to take was rapidly approaching.

* * *

Her eyes sprang open and sluggishly she recalled drifting off while gloomy thoughts swam through her head. But she was soon distracted from those memories. She had not woken because she had completed a good night's rest. Something was wrong. Looking around the darkness of her room she cast out her mind waiting for an indication of what. In the end it was more obvious than a sensation she could perceive with her gifts. There were distant rumbles that alerted her to an explosion somewhere.

The young woman sprang up. They were under attack. Before she had even started to sprint down the hallway outside she heard a familiar voice call out her name.

"Finn!" She cried back half in relief half in question as to what was happening. He thrust her staff into her hands before turning to lead the way back to the others.

"The First Order is here. They've found us!" Her friend explained the explosions getting louder the further they went. Soon she could hear gunfire.

"How'd they find us?" Rey asked just as they broke out into a more open room where Storm Troopers fought a small group of familiar Resistance members. Coming in behind them, Finn fired the rifle in his hands quickly taking down three before ducking behind a nearby table as the soldiers realised there was a new threat behind them. In the same instant Rey swung her quarterstaff, knocking one down as she rapped him across the head before sweeping the legs out from another one following with a downward blow to incapacitate him. She ducked behind Finn's cover as they aimed for her. But now the troopers were outnumbered and splitting their attention.

With perfect aim the Resistance group that had been surrounded took advantage of the distraction; C'ai, Kaydel, and Poe taking down more of the militia as they formed a protective circle around General Organa and C-3PO. Coming in from another hallway, Chewbacca and Rose created further diversion aided by BB-8 who barrelled over unsuspecting troopers. This afforded the pair the opportunity to break from cover and eliminate the remaining few soldiers.

"Lando's already left. He tried to draw some of them off. Once he's clear of them he'll regroup. After such an open attack the Council won't hesitate to tell the First Order to go to hell." Leia's impatient voice clarified as Finn and Rey joined the group.

"What's our plan?" Rey asked as C'ai and Kaydel cleared the way through one of the sets of doors.

"We're leaving. I need you and Finn together with Chewbacca to pilot the Millennium Falcon and try and draw the remainder off so we can get on our ship and back to base without being followed." The older woman commanded. The pair nodded in confirmation before the gang took action proceeding through the building, thankfully unhindered. Sighting the two ships, the party prepared to split as the Resistance members who had already prepared for take off beckoned to their General and her entourage. Then there was heat, bright light, and flame. The explosion was not what shook the group, stunning them in their places after instinctually ducking. It was the thought of those that had died in the wreckage of Leia's transport that was now a smouldering ruin.

"No! No, no, no!" Poe cried out anger and mourning blending in his tone. Other commanders and pilots had been on board, brave fighters. He moved to run to them but Organa caught his arm.

"We have to leave!" She stressed shoving her ace pilot in the direction of the Millennium Falcon as further trooper transports arrived. They would be swarmed if they didn't hurry. The group took the hint; no time to grieve as they ran towards the second ship, Rey's agility and Chewbacca's long legs helping them take the lead as they dodged further fire, BB-8 barrelling past them. They needed to start up the Falcon, everyone else would catch up.

What occurred in those next precious minutes seemed to happen in slow motion, almost like Rey observed the events unfold through the Force like when she meditated. There were explosions, the whirs of the vessel she thought of as home coming to life, shouts of her comrades as she and Chewie prepared for take off. Troopers landed and those that lagged behind stopped to shoot. Princess Leia, known for her accuracy, fired mercilessly. As she took aim and shot another soldier down she ensured that one more person under her command made it on board, insisting on their safety first. Finn and Poe beckoned them inside, helping them with a shove on the back similar to how Rey had done when they had fled Crait. They turned to reach out to the last, General Organa, covering her as she ran towards a ship full of memories. A sense of dread swarmed Rey's chest, disarming her. Something was wrong. She needed to go back to the entrance.

Finn saw her first, a glint of silver that flashed in his eyes. There was still a crack in her mask, a milky eye with burned flesh glaring through the damage. He cried out, aiming to stop her but flinched back as fire from other troopers skimmed close enough to burn causing Finn and Poe to recoil back inside. Phasma took her opportunity. Rey arrived just in time to see the bolt of light strike true. Princess Leia dropped mid run. The Jedi didn't hear her own scream but she felt power bubble up inside as she cast her hand and furious gaze out towards the woman dressed in armour. The Force froze Phasma in place as she turned to aim the rifle at the man she called a traitor who ran with Poe. Together they lifted the fallen general and carried her back to the ship, scrambling on board and crying out for Chewbacca to leave as they closed the bay doors; Rey's control was severed releasing the woman she despised. With a savage cry she struck out to knock back the murderers with a strong force wave right at the last minute as the vessel was sealed.

In that instant the world around her seemed to come back to life. She could hear Poe shouting for help, someone to treat his surrogate mother whose gasps of pains struck daggers in Rey's heart. She dropped down beside Leia wishing there was something she could do but she could already see the blow had been fatal. In that moment Rey felt lost, unsure where the Resistance would go without their strong-willed, passionate leader. The woman so many looked up to.

Recognition of her fate in Leia's eyes caused those around her to break into tears, a sombre atmosphere permeating the air. Of course she smiled for her last breaths.

"Keep fighting strong. You can do it." She declared to those crowded around hopeless to do anything but watch and listen. With weak hands she reached out to Rey beside her, passing the last of her strength to the young woman. "Tell him I love him…and bring him home." She requested and then her life sighed from her lips, her body still. The group sat back in shock, silently mourning a woman who meant more to all of them than a strong leader. Reeling from the pain and perhaps even the responsibility of future conversations, Rey lifted herself up almost like a puppet pulled by strings. Separate from herself, she staggered back to the cockpit. She didn't have to tell Chewbacca. She could see in his eyes he knew. Had heard the commotion. He didn't grieve openly. Like with Han, following the initial shock he remained silent, the usual roars of passion stilled only to cry out inside. Rey felt like a trespasser, unwelcome in a longer history. Until the wookiee reached out as she began to help with their final escape, taking one of her hands as she extended it for a switch. The enduring soldier cross pilots took comfort in each others stoic solidarity.

* * *

((A/N: Hey! There's where my humour went! And then it was gone. I need to do something light and fluffy after this. A lot of awkward phrasing I had to doctor in this one and I'm not quite sure I managed it. Half the problem when you build a story from what was to be personal one-shots and then stitch it together but I don't think it's noticeable anymore. Hope you're all still enjoying this.

Xanderlike: Exactly. We knew who Anakin would become so there was more weight to his introduction but he still started as a nobody slave on a nowhere planet. I have to say that _if_ it turns out Rey has some heritage with existing characters I would lean toward Palpatine for the same reasoning has I stated previously. Mystic 777: I love writing sassy Leia and I love doing little nods to the franchise here and there. I'm glad that they get noticed. n_n ToughSpirit: Honestly, I'd hate her parents being good people who couldn't make it back for 'x' reason. She still grew up through a lot of hardship and loneliness as a result. Glad you're enjoying it. It's a slow burn but openness is coming. :)

A few minor tweaks on previous chapters for awkward phrasing and general errors. If this was my old story layout we'd have one chapter left but this one broke my discipline. ;) Hope you have enjoyed; constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated.))


	5. Chapter 5 - If Things Had Been Different

Chapter 5 – If Things Had Been Different

Her dress was white. It billowed out regally almost as if she was floating on the surface of a lake. She might have been resting; a peaceful expression on her face. Her hair was woven in a style of tradition, an ode to a long forgotten planet she had once called home. If Rey focused on the beauty of the scene she might forget the terrible sense of loss she felt but that was a blatant lie she and others were telling themselves.

Sorrow was an energy in the air clinging to everyone's skin and tearing agony out of them as they wept. To so many she was a symbol of hope and courage; stubbornness barring the victory of oppression. To others she wasn't just the strong leader dragging everyone to fight for something important. She was a mother figure; loving, strict, and altogether wise. Any second now the corner of her lips would curl into a smirk and she'd call them all fools before getting to work.

But that wasn't the case. Her strength was gone, her valour spent and Rey stood in front of Finn with an ache in her chest as they marched along, escorting her coffin to its final resting place. She was bitter that it was not somewhere of import. A place Leia might have called home once but even as the galaxy rallied together, inspired by the actions of the Resistance and abhorred by those of the First Order, it was still too risky to make open, deliberate plans and movements. So it was held on their hidden base. There were many of them. Those who had known her only as General Organa and others who had followed her from when she was still known only as Princess Leia. Rey recalled some of the attendants lamenting that she could not be laid to rest at home on Alderaan but that at least was not the fault of their need for concealment.

The procession went about their tasks dutifully as the crowds saluted and then the masses were left to grieve. Everyone did it in their own ways. Some went back to work, keen for distractions. Others found a quiet place to mourn. Rey looked to Finn who held Rose tightly in his arms. A stoic, determined look had settled over his face. Like his scavenger friend he wanted the First Order to pay for what they'd done. A similar expression could be found on Poe although underneath it he was broken. There was no cocky swagger to him. Just a lost man looking back over time. Rey took his hand, squeezing it hard with hers. His glance implied the gratitude. She understood that to him, like herself, Leia had been more than a general. A surrogate mother for a surrogate son.

With a last pat on his shoulder for reassurance Rey took her leave. They weren't meant to stray too far from the base, the First Order pressing hard to find them but they had escaped successfully untraced. Surely she could afford a little openness?

She tried to focus on the green of the forest as she trudged along, fog shifting in her wake, humidity clinging to her skin but it only added to the weight of misery. Tears streamed down her face as she kept moving, weaving around trees, ducking under vines, stepping over logs. She kept going past the perimeter deeper into the forest. Eventually the denseness broke apart making space for a large, old tree that towered above the rest. Something about it was beautiful and also a little sad. It was perfect.

Perched cross legged on one of the roots arching out over the ground before diving back in again Rey began to cast her mind out. She thought of the sensation, she thought of him, wondered if he knew. If he was told or if he had felt it. She knew it would hurt, he'd be in agony. He might openly mourn or might just lash out defensively, pretending he didn't care but she also knew he needed her, now more than ever. For all his justification for his actions, for all his petty beliefs in parents that didn't care, he knew he had been loved and in return had loved. In spite of his solitude he would soon feel more alone than ever before and she had to remind him that he wasn't.

* * *

"Great work General Hux." Claude praised as the conversation looped back to their recent victory. The whole meeting had been a circle jerk and each time the red haired man was praised every eye did not go to him. Kylo was the one they looked to, gazes greedy for a reaction, some response, some tell to reveal he mourned what they considered a triumph. They got no such satisfaction. The Supreme Leader sat with an impatient glare as if their tests were a bore to him. He kept this impassive farce but inside was chaos. The discord of his thoughts threatened to drown out the conversation in the room as he recalled the sensation. He had felt it, physically felt her loss through the Force. He had known before the report had come in. She would not miraculously return this time.

"Captain Phasma is currently regrouping our troops in the area. It seems that Lando Calrissian has been lobbying support following the attack." Armitage continued deciding he was tired of taunting his rival when he got no rise from it. Ren's eyes twitched to a suspicious glare. Hux had kept that morsel of information from him. He had thought Phasma dead, killed in action when the Supremacy had been damaged. Kylo had a right to punish him for that insubordination but he'd do that later. When Armitage was being praised for his success harming him would just paint an early target on Ren's back. He had to bide his time.

"We'll deal with them later. They're a minor nuisance. Have all your operatives focused on tracing the location of General Organa's main force. Those left to coordinate the Resistance will be there." Kylo interrupted before any of the generals could recommend action. As if remembering that the Jedi Killer had some sway over their actions and also their lives, the men and women shifted uncomfortably.

"Aren't your knights already on top of that matter?" Hux queried becoming bolder by the second. But he'd called attention to himself and Kylo's dark eyes flicked to him almost like a physical blow that caused the pale man to flinch. Ren wouldn't strangle him, that would cause dissent but he pressed down on his will, dragging out images, memories from the General. Armitage made a noise, somewhere between a groan and a cough, sweat emerging across his brow as he trembled, lost in recollections of a painful childhood filled with terror. It wasn't enough to incite objection thankfully and it was also satisfying.

"Yes. But their focus is the girl and her alone. When I have killed her the rest will be child's play. If she is with them, all the better for us. If she is not…you will have wasted time that should have been spent pursuing them." Kylo promised in casual tones. General Hux gasped as the pressure was alleviated from his mind, fear now fresh in his eyes though they still held defiance. It was almost time for the charade to be done. "This meeting is dismissed. You have work." He declared not even waiting for the generals to respond before he stalked from the room. He imagined they remained to discuss how best to twist the knife in his back. He didn't care.

Soldiers in the hallways kept close to the walls as he stalked with heavy steps. They were all too familiar with his moods to recognise a gait that could end in angry outbursts, more surprised that he was even reining it in as opposed to going to the nearest empty room to destroy anything in there. But he had to. If he didn't restrain his emotions he was going to break.

He made it to his quarters with heavy breaths, forcing them to slow though he trembled from the exertion making them shaky. He tried to focus, to meditate and centre the disharmony as his head swam with memories of his mother. He remembered sensing her when he had failed to fire on the Raddus, her peace and her mercy. Even as he'd lead the assault she had forgiven him, had loved him. He remembered her letter when the truth of her parentage had been revealed quite publicly; his confusion in that time on the identity of his real grandfather. He remembered a time before she had become so caught up in politics when she had held him in her arms with adoration. He felt sweat uncomfortable on his skin and tried to blame it for the moisture on his face, streaming down his cheeks. He didn't want to acknowledge what he truly felt even in the sanctity of his chambers. That was weakness he couldn't afford.

Still, the struggle brought him to his knees and he tried to lose himself in the chill of his floor, sitting in a casual way. But it did nothing to supersede his emotions and his mind continued to cloud and spin with thoughts he wanted to chase away with anything. But there was no spark for his anger anymore., no distraction. The best he could do was send his turmoil across his quarters in a physical use of pressure of the Force; metal warping, ceramics and glass cracking. Thankfully his torment was kept contained within his room, hidden from prying eyes.

There was a disturbance, for a second. That familiar feeling making his head twitch in acknowledgement but he didn't want to turn around although he had moved to. He could feel her eyes on him, feel her grief. He wanted to ask questions but if he did that would he crumble? Terrified of this possibility he then felt the urge to scream at her, order her to leave but the words wouldn't come to his mouth. He was afraid to speak and betray the path he had chosen. The mistakes he had made.

It had felt different for her this time. She hadn't noticed the shift in the air, the sound as usual. It had been there of course but that was not what her perceptions had focused on. It was a sense of a forlorn agony. A feeling of abandonment with no one to turn to. From that loneliness, that depression she could see his back. He was stifling his sobs but she could see in that moment that his body shook with the effort. He would not turn, he didn't want to. He didn't want her to see this never mind that he didn't want to feel this. She knew that in her broken heart. Through their connection she could sense it, feel his emotions burning in the space between them. But against his wishes those sentiments were there. It's hard to hate your mother she reflected and his had truly loved him though he did everything to destroy that.

It shattered her spirit sharing that torment and unable to contain her pity Rey crept across a room she couldn't see and swept down, kneeling behind him. He was so focused on trying not to feel as she sat there watching his back in contemplation. He didn't have the strength to push her away; to scream at her to leave. She could hear his thoughts, whispers to stay back, to go. Hesitantly she leant forward arms circling around him and over his shoulders as she pulled Ben into a hug. She thought then he might lash out but as if she were a lifeline, his hands moved up to grab her wrists and the wails of agony he'd been holding in broke free in a tormented gasp. He openly wept and she did not think less of him for it. His pain flowed over her like an open dam threatening to drown her. How could one live with all this anguish and not become twisted? The rage and the hate, they were his armour. A tangle of thorns in reaction to all he had faced. A father who was lost when it came to parenting, a mother caught up in leading, an uncle who betrayed him, and a legacy that condemned him. Yet in spite of that he loved them all and all were gone.

Rey knew Leia had given up for a time. She didn't want to but it was hard when Kylo was known even by his allies as a wild animal and harder still when his father had died by his hand. Near impossible to control and with all the power to back his fury. But even when Organa had watched her soldiers plotting to end her son, her little boy, a part of her broke at it. She would never stop loving him such was a mother's unconditional adoration. He knew that. But it didn't matter now. It was gone. _She_ was gone. No rage could hide that pain. No distraction could bury that sense of loss.

"What was it like…?" He asked when his energy was spent. Tears still flowed down his face but the sobs racking his body had slowed. Grief was a deep well but this moment had helped. Rey shifted letting her chin rest in the crook of his neck. Neither let go, taking comfort in the electric sensation of distant touch.

"Beautiful…and sad. We all saluted her. She was radiant." Rey began recalling the procession from earlier that day. She called into her mind those memories and shared the images with him. She felt his gratitude as her own as he looked them over letting the recollections become his. Then he shifted. It was the only warning she got before his warmth faded away, the last vestiges of his emotions drifting in her mind. He had become alert, wary of something. Perhaps that wasn't so bad. He needed distraction and at least she had helped him start to mourn.

With a deep sigh dragging through her body, Rey forced herself to stand turning away from her little refuge and beginning the trip back to base. It was time to complete her saber. Mourning would end soon and they would be kicked into action as was necessary. And if that was the case it was almost time for her to save Ben Solo from the fate of Kylo Ren.

The Resistance did not weep for long. Too many soldiers conditioned to keep marching on when a comrade had fallen. A natural rhythm fell into place and while the chain of command had clear lines to certain individuals others took up the reigns as they proved competent to do so. The Resistance kept in contact with Calrissian and continued to grow, to prepare, to build. As she trained and rehearsed her own duties Rey found herself in awe of those around her. Her closest friends became leaders by their actions. She came to realise that new legends were growing amongst the survivors; taking shape in those trying times. The Scavenger from nowhere was no longer no one.

* * *

His finger traced circles across the hard surface of the arm rest of his throne. Random patterns as his mind wandered. He had wanted power; he had wanted to rule, to live up to his legacy. Snoke had encouraged such desires for as long as he could remember. A voice whispering from the darkness whenever he was left alone which had been all too often, tempting him to use his abilities destructively. But Snoke had been nothing. Arrogant and blind, a failure Kylo Ren had outwitted. Not when he was lashing out angrily and defensively but when he had been protecting something else, conviction in the image of a future ruling side by side. Even as he'd pleaded that had been snuffed out.

He had wanted to hate her; still a part of him struggled to do so. There was no future for him if the First Order lost. But neither was there one if it succeeded. But _she_ didn't want the third outcome, the one he'd offered. Anger simmered at the edges but there wasn't enough passion in it to properly despise her. He wondered if there ever had been.

Kylo's thoughts fell back to that day not long ago where the pain of loss was fresh, the torment drowning him in a hurricane of thoughts he couldn't pursue. Any mask he had wanted to keep had shattered as her arms had wrapped around him. It had felt like home. Her presence cool and soothing as she graciously shared with him the funeral he could not attend in person. She was a salve for the open wounds on his heart.

Then the moment had been shattered. Someone was coming, he could hear them. He'd splashed some water on his face and when he'd opened the door to the informant they had almost fled in fear. Ren's mind had pressed down on them emanating a fury that spread with rumour through the ship, questions of a foreseeable battle for supremacy. Even their subordinates were terrified of the inevitable future; when the two lap dogs eventually fought no one wanted to be around. His jaw moved as if physically chewing on this recollection a brooding expression on his face even as joy at their fear sparked up within him.

The Jedi Killer was distracted from his musings when the doors opened, a familiar masked face striding across the scarred floor that reminded him of a fierce battle. Isamu knelt low forever respectful of the soldier who had elevated him from the prison of Jedi training. He had never been fond of the order, or Luke or that matter. Kylo had not been surprised that he was the first to agree to join him. Nor had he been surprised at those who had opposed them.

"We have the location of the girl, Supreme Leader." Isamu declared his voice a parody of the one Ren had used when he wore a mask. The news surprised him but he didn't show this, head bowing low as if to appraise his knight. Before he could speak the doors opened again, his jaw twitching in anger as General Hux strode toward him. The sooner this façade was over the better.

"Supreme Leader, we have located the main Resistance headquarters." Armitage declared, refusing to bend the knee though he made mock of bowing his head. Isamu's masked face tilted towards the other man, observant eyes concealed by his helm. There was a twitch in Kylo's own gaze that betrayed his irritation.

"As do we. We are to hold all forces until I am personally there. My knights and I will deal with the girl." Ren declared noticing immediately the pleased look in Hux's eye.

"I assumed our continued success required immediate action, as before. I've already ordered the nearest units to strike." The red haired man responded with derisive innocence in his voice. Kylo restrained his mind from lashing out in anger, clenching his fists as his will began to bear down on General Hux.

"You've forgotten your place, cur." The dark haired man noted with hatred in his tone. Kylo felt his knight's anger rising in defence but waved a hand in signal that it was fine as he brought himself to his feet. Almost casually he descended from his throne, approaching Armitage with apathy. "Do not proceed to order anymore attacks without my command." He growled in a threatening whisper. But the general's eyes were still defiant even as he began to tremble from the Force bearing down on him.

"Why should we hesitate? Do you perhaps want to save the girl since you couldn't save your mother?" Armitage questioned daringly. It wasn't Kylo that lashed out in that instant, stunned that his enemy would be so bold so early and in such close proximity, but instead Isamu who in one sweeping motion was standing and swung out his saber to hold the red blade at General Hux's throat. He had intended to kill but again, one movement from Ren had stopped him. He was disciplined and loyal; Hux could now see that if not feel it from the burn at his throat. Kylo held him in place with his mind not letting the general back away from the blade wanting him to feel the pain of his threat.

"Do not presume to understand my motivations Armitage. Do not insult me with your pitiful attempts. If I have to kill you and your whole army to bring back fidelity in the First Order I will. There is nothing you can do to stop that." Kylo promised yet it rang hollow in his ears. Even with all of his knights the likelihood of surviving should he carry out such actions was slim and no other factions of the Order would align themselves afterwards. The temptation was there of course. One day he would have an ideal opportunity to choke the life out of Hux and would do so happily.

"Make sure this ship is at that base before your unit's attacks have gone cold or I'm going to bring back a tradition of severed limbs." Kylo commanded, bypassing the general and stalking from the room. He heard Isamu's blade retreat and knew his knight would remain long enough to breed fear into the leader of the other factions. It was almost a reassurance that his force warriors would happily follow him in creating a third entity.

He sighed when he made it back to his quarters, exhausted with the weight of deception. Time was running out. But even as he should have been concerned over his predicament, Kylo's thoughts wandered instead. There was no way to reach their destination in time. Soon there would be an assault on the Resistance hideout. Rey would be in danger. He tried to be nonchalant, to not care. To pretend that this didn't matter; if Hux was victorious the Order was victorious. But he felt worry nestle in the pit of his stomach, twisting there like a knife. He grimaced. Was this cognitive dissonance?

Trying to chase away his thoughts and shut his mind down, he focused on the motions of removing his clothing, preparing to sleep. He didn't know why he bothered. Even as he forced his feelings elsewhere his mind was still clouded with the usual anxiety that accompanied him whenever he tried to slumber. But Kylo was distracted by something else, a sensation that arrived almost as if he had willed it himself.

He felt weight at his back. It was familiar and although there was no one on the bed beside him he knew if he rolled over she would be there. Last time this had happened this way she had lashed out and they'd fought. They'd struggled with each other. He had felt worn then but now that weariness had long been surpassed. Was she tired too? She didn't glance at him, didn't shift; said no word. Was she pretending he wasn't there again? Did she think if she ignored him long enough he would disappear?

Impatient, he rolled over. Rey was feigning sleep but her breathing betrayed her. The scavenger's movements were too deliberate, too precise and the stillness too tense. Her breath hitched when he settled on his other side to properly face her as if anticipating what might come next. What did she expect? Before he might have lashed out, might have tried to oppress her mind, infiltrate it for information. But now the fight had left Ren. He recalled her arms wrapped around him in his moment of need, strong and silent as she held him. In spite of his pride he wanted that comfort again.

Cautiously he shuffled closer to her back, arms reaching out hesitantly. It was almost like he expected aggression but she remained still, shifting only to help him as he wrapped his arms possessively around her. One of her legs moved back to intertwine with his, he could smell the musk in her hair. Sweat, sand remarkably, and life as he laid his face amongst it. Her arms rested over his as he held her from behind. He had never felt more at peace. Why couldn't she have just taken his hand and joined him? Why couldn't she let go. They could have this, this feeling, this moment. It would be real. She would really be there.

 _Why should I be the one to let go?_ A voice purred in his mind. She was reading his thoughts and he hadn't even noticed. Could she feel how much he wanted, needed to stay like this? How desperate he was that the bond not break, not yet? Kylo didn't think he could bear it ending and finding his bed empty. He wanted to remain in the illusion that she was really there beside him.

"If things had been different…if I'd been one of Luke's students…do you think we would have been friends?" She asked filling the silence though she kept still; eyes shut as if she were asleep. She was trying to distract him, he could sense that. She had noticed his anxiety and tried to save him from it. He crumbled under that tenderness, moisture in his eyes.

"I hope so." He confessed unable to keep the pain from his voice. She squirmed, seemingly affected by the tickle of his words on her neck. It tempted him with the idea to do it again but he was distracted. She was being subtle but he could feel her there, in his mind. What was she searching for? His motivations? His worries? His adoration? She tensed as the latter drifted up to meet her prying consciousness in confession. Then he sensed her timid response. His chest swelled with a joy he didn't expect in that moment but it was bittersweet. Rey reciprocated those feelings and he had betrayed them before she had even acknowledged her sentiments.

He almost withdrew instinctually, guilty and ashamed. Instead he let other thoughts drift to the surface of his mind to meet hers. Ben heard the audible gasp as realisation set in. She now knew that they were in danger. He felt her shift and defensively clung tighter.

"Please don't go." He begged eyes closed tensely for his shame. It was pathetic but he had never felt so much comfort in an embrace. His eyes blinked open slowly as he felt her turn around and cautiously he met her gaze. There was a patient smile on Rey's face though her eyes were sad. He didn't have the courage to stop her when she sat up.

"I have to warn everyone. We have to move so the First Order finds nothing here." She explained even though she didn't have to. He looked away almost as if sulking, tracing patterns on her thigh where one of his arms was still draped presumably begging her to return so he could embrace her again. She noted he was chewing the inside of his lip, wanting to say more than he would. To her it was cute as she slowly acknowledged her bond with Ben Solo and what it entailed.

"I don't want to be alone." He finally confessed with a tired sigh, eyes shut to hide his embarrassment at appearing so feeble. Rey's heart twisted with familiarity at the sentiment. She leant down pressing her lips to his temple in reassurance blushing at his gaze as she sat straight again, a look burning with desire.

"You're not. We're always connected Ben. We always will be." She declared. Before Rey had even left the bed his image had faded showing that the Force bond seemed to be in tune with their needs at least in this moment. She didn't have time to waste contemplating it.

First she ran to the cockpit of the Falcon, jarring Chewbacca awake. Anyone else might have had an arm torn off but aside from an aggravated growl, the wookiee only looked at her in tired irritation.

"The First Order is on its way, we need to evacuate until we're ready to fight back." Rey declared. Chewie didn't question her knowledge, instead whirring the ship to life and telling her not to worry and go wake everyone else.

Activity and lights swept across the base as upon waking more recruits they splintered out to rouse others. Soon the garrison was uniformly packing up and ready to move long before the First Order would arrive.

"You sure about this?" Poe asked as he, Finn, and Rose followed Rey back to the area where X-wing fighters were being prepped to move to the bays of larger ships.

"Absolutely. We need to get out of here." Rey answered while Poe broke off for his fighter. The remaining joined her as she ran back for the Falcon. The evacuation nearly complete with satisfactory efficiency.

The Millennium Falcon was the last ship to leave, jumping to a nearby system where the majority of the forces being established by Lando were located. The lights died down in indication of the attempt to mute as many signals as possible. Like countless others, they monitored the place they had just fled; a risk but a temptation to confirm the truth. As a single entity the Resistance held its breath long enough that they almost questioned Rey's knowledge. That is until the first of many signals came through confirming that starship destroyers had arrived.

A sigh of relief and joy swept through the group, pleased to have outsmarted the First Order. This would no doubt infuriate them. The Resistance ships began their descent, radioing to the planet below that Lando was located on to advise what had just occurred. As they did Poe's fighter, active inside a transport in case combat broke out, contacted the Falcon.

"How'd you know they were coming?" He asked out of curiosity while Rey beamed at the whoops and hollers of Finn and Rose. She glanced hesitantly at Chewie, the only one aware of her Force Bond who kept deliberately silent. She smiled then, knowing it was time.

"Ben Solo informed me." Rey declared and even as she noticed the stunned silence sweeping across her comrades she beamed with delight. Soon she could keep her promise and bring him home.

* * *

((A/N: Sorry this one's a little late. I'm getting to the chapters I haven't revised as much as I'd prefer so trying to find as much things to mend as possible before I post. That and my internet keeps going down. Man. So many feels this chapter. I hope I've conveyed everything properly.

Leia's funeral was a bit tricky and it was something I wanted to get right. Back when I first wrote it I tried to see if anyone had done any fanart in dedication to a brilliant woman and the character she brought to life but it appears no one is as morose as myself. Or I just failed to find it. I decided to use art of Ophelia from Hamlet as my inspiration as artistically her death is so sad but also kind of beautiful in that sadness so I combined that with a hint of Padmé. White just seemed so appropriate considering how she was introduced to us all. I wanted to remember Alderaan and her as a princess but I also wanted the elements of the strong general she became. I hope I did her justice.

WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf: I love it as an idea. I think it really reminds us what it was like in the beginning and it's very empowering in the message that anyone has great potential. I'm glad you agree and are enjoying where I've taken this. :) Aha! I'm sorry for heading cliché but I'm glad there was enough of a twist on it that it felt fresh. We definitely need to see more Solo in him. Mystic 777: ;P Need my punchlines especially when there's so few opportunities for them in this tale. And nah, it was all good. Chewie had it sorted. Personally I'm of the opinion he was deliberately taking his time on Hoth and that wookiee knows exactly what he's doing. Pagan-seijou: Heh. Sorry. This chapter might just be salt in the wound but happy times will come. I'll try to keep my updates prompt. :)

Hope you have enjoyed; constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated.))


	6. Chapter 6 - We Followed You

Chapter 6 – We Followed You

"The information was verified, they were there!" General Hux cried out still fuming over the reports. His squadron had arrived on the planet and Phasma herself confirmed that the Resistance base was empty, their beds still warm. They had known the attack was coming.

Kylo looked over the gathering of superiors with distaste. Claude was irritated with Armitage's childish display but also had the cautious eyes of the wary. He was considering the implications. All the generals were except the red haired man who was too lost in the shock and frustrations of his failure. There; the ex-Jedi saw it. The shift in his enemy's expression. It finally dawned on Hux what this meant as well. He turned, furious eyes narrowing trying to spy a betrayal of intent from the force wielder. None of the other officers were so bold though Ren knew in spite of the lack of evidence they would have their suspicions. He leant forward keeping Armitage's gaze, daring him to say it publicly. It would be the perfect excuse to end his miserable existence. Hux seemed to sense the triumph in that stare, stepping back and looking at the other generals.

"How did they know?" He murmured to himself unable to resist at least vaguely making the accusation. It amused Kylo but he kept his mask as a mixture of boredom and irritation.

"Maybe our first attack made them more cautious. Maybe they move frequently to avoid anymore…surprises." He theorised in droll tones while his mind pressed down on the red haired man. His intention could be played off as reprimand for failure but it was hard to hide his satisfaction. "Maybe there's a weak link in your spy network." He added wanting to stir fury in his opponent. It was tiny but he saw the shift in Hux's eyes betraying the indignation of being accused of inadequacy.

He was saved an outburst when all eyes shifted to the doors. Their meeting was not to be interrupted but the familiar obsidian cloak of one of Ren's knights stalked into the room. Kylo trained his mask to remain impassive, keeping his expression focused. There was only one reason Isamu would dare disturb the assembly.

"Master. We have confirmed the location of the main force of the Resistance on the planet Fulgor. Information supports she is among them." Isamu reported as he knelt before the Supreme Leader. Kylo had to bite his tongue to concentrate on maintaining the façade that this news pleased him aware that Hux's expression was filled with delight as the general watched his rival closely. The fallen Jedi inclined his head to his subordinate to signal approval even as his mind raced chaotically in desperate cries that this news was not what he wanted, not now. Even so he deliberately flicked a smug gaze to Armitage as if this was a triumph over his misstep; keeping up the pretence.

"Mobilise our units immediately." He ordered knowing he needed to further maintain the illusion that he was aligned with the First Order. He had to make a choice now; there was no way out of it. He took his chances with one side or the other, both factions wanting his head. He had never felt more lost.

"Supreme Leader. I think it would be unwise to assemble our entire force for this fight." General Lucius spoke up turning all eyes to him. Kylo tried to keep the hostility from the look he shot the older man instead maintaining an expression that mixed determination with curiosity. He motioned for Claude to speak his piece. "Our squadrons still vastly outnumber reports on the Resistance. Should they have any surprises up their sleeve it would be prudent to maintain a reserve unit to eliminate any potential threats before cleaning up what remains of their men. Concealing our true numbers might lure the majority of them out into the open to ensure complete obliteration as well." He counselled. Kylo could make no arguments against such a manoeuvre though he wished he was able to. He honestly didn't care for the lives of the men and women of the Resistance but he didn't want _her_ to be in danger. He had to work out how in all of this he would save _her._

With calculated movements he accepted Claude's suggestion and motioned for the other generals to prepare, assigning a few of them the task of reserve forces; Hux amongst this number just to spite him. He then stalked from the room with heavy steps burdened by a weary conscience. Isamu fell in line behind him having already gathered the other knights so they could prepare just awaiting their illustrious leader. He would speak as if to inspire but in reality his mind was light-years away wanting desperately to warn a woman who meant the galaxy to him.

* * *

It was hard to get used to and each morning Rey found herself seated in awe as the blue sun hit the surface of the planet and light shimmered like glitter in the air. Fulgor was a unique place. Grasses were soothing shades of cerulean and the trees were made of soft sapphire crystals only obscured by the blue-green mosses that grew on their surface. She didn't know the science behind the glittering trees but she didn't need to understand them to find them beautiful. The pollen of their luminescent blue flowers was crystalline as well so when light hit them sparkling rainbow shards floated through the air. The particles seemed harmless to most though C'ai was suffering from allergies that had left his eyes red and puffy.

All this beauty was interrupted by the buildings constructed years ago for some other war that the Resistance had repurposed for theirs, ships littered amongst them preparing for future assaults. Lando had successfully petitioned for aid, supported by the First Order spiralling wildly out of control as they increased their efforts to eliminate their enemies. The people were afraid of a new Empire and had finally acknowledged the threat. Of course there were places still unswayed but enough had joined the cause for the Resistance to be confident in their future success as they had the funding and the recruits to build armies and warships. These alliances of powerful new recruits had begun assembling with Calrissian long before the Resistance had joined them following their retreat, even donating existing ships. There was also talk that the Republic was acknowledging the threat of the First Order though they denied their mistake in ignoring Organa's counsel.

Rey fell into her routine. She'd talk with Finn over a morning coffee and breakfast, still awed that he had become an integral part of the Resistance. His knowledge of trooper tactics, technology, and locations was a valuable asset and together with Poe he had taken charge of a great number of their forces. But Rey didn't sit in on these talks. She couldn't command armies but she had her own part to play. She had mastered many of the movements in the Jedi tome instructing her in combat and made sure to practice them every day regardless. At the same time as her body flowed between these steps her mind reached out building her force powers as she lifted objects, struck attacks instinctually, guided her responses to manufactured threats with intuition, and developed a deeper understanding of the universe and its balance. There had recently been talk of seeking out rumours of young force wielders to be trained.

She leant on her staff, focusing on her breathing as shallow breaths slowed to deep ones while she became conscious of her heart rate after the heavy workout. The mediation centred her, spreading out her awareness. She could not help but tense when a familiar sensation struck through her calm springing her eyes open. He was dressed to fight.

"…of course." He muttered to himself derisively like he should have expected this moment. He was looking at something she couldn't see to her left but soon turned to face her. The tall man's eyes were soft and perhaps a little sad.

"What's happening?" She asked feeling a heavy weight on his shoulders. Her desire to relieve him of this burden seemed to cause Kylo pain. She felt uncomfortable under his intense gaze but remained focused on what she could sense from him. Had anyone ever felt so much guilt?

"They know where you are. I'll end it soon." He declared in his deep timbre but the conviction in his words was hollow and flecked with sorrow; she shot him a scathing look for even trying though it wasn't as fiery as her old hostilities. When would he stop lying to himself?

"You can stop this." She tried to advise him but his face creased with irritation that she bothered suggesting it. A part of her acknowledged why he thought she was wrong and that even in denial she had to admit that there was truth to his understanding. Even if he did aid the Resistance it was not a suitable outcome for him. Her eyes cast down as her mind raced for answers to a problem that had none. It made her heart heavy as desperation took over.

"I'll talk to them, we'll work something out." She declared but there was no confidence in her words. It hurt her more to feel his gratitude at the sentiment if nothing else. Here she was crying in front of him again. His lips parted as he moved closer, soft words at the edges of his breath wanting to comfort her but then their hearts wrenched as the bond ended; a voice spoken in the sharp tones of an old, dutiful man shattering their moment. Rey nearly cried out as her face contorted in frustration and agony. It didn't take her long though before her chin stuck out in a stubborn way. She _would_ solve this. She would find a way. For now she had an obligation to her friends.

She trailed back to headquarters stopping only to wash her face and remove the signs of her tears. With her warning the base sprung to life, units frantically moving to ensure everyone was fueled and equipped for battle; strategies in place. Rey confirmed that her role was to assist Chewbacca piloting the Falcon and make some heavy hits, maybe even gain enemy focus like on Crait if they could manage it. With her warning the Resistance was adequately prepared when the first dreadnaught appeared in the sky. The shields were up and the First Order would have to scramble fighters as Resistance cruisers of different shapes and sizes took their fair share of the destroyers' attention. The enemy was quick to act and before long the sky was a battlefield to mirror that of space; crystalline ground ringing as blaster fire sent chunks of it into the air.

Their group took too long, determined to ensure the other troops were prepared as the battle began and moved uncomfortably close to the garrison. Rey and her friends made their way to their respective positions, Finn joining her to use one of the Millennium Falcon's turrets. Poe was to split off from their group to pilot his X-wing. They were wishing him luck when a group of TIE fighters, one familiar silencer at the front, swept past. The group ducked in unison as the ground shook from the explosion of fire.

"Oh, come on!" The ace pilot's angry voice cried out as the smoke cleared. His X-wing was in poor shape and he definitely wouldn't be flying today.

"How many times is that now?" Finn quipped as he tried to distract his frustrated friend while Rey recalled stories of his previous bad luck with his X-wing.

"Join us, there's a second turret. I can work any necessary maintenance with BB-8." Rose declared giving up her fighter's seat and dragging Poe back so the group could mobilize. They didn't have time to let their friend fume and soon the Falcon had joined the rest of the Resistance fighters in the air.

Together with Chewbacca, Rey maneuvered the legendary ship amongst the other spacecrafts. With Finn and Poe on the two turrets they made short work of any targets they selected. It was a sight to behold; an ancient ship from old stories weaving amongst the fire helping down one enemy at a time. Rey felt adrenaline coursing through her veins in excitement. All her worries were gone, she remembered this. Even on the verge of breakdown she could lose herself in the motions, let the feeling take over and bury any pain.

She was brought back down from her fluttering euphoria when the Falcon rocked hard having taken a decent hit. The taste was bitter when she realized her blatant reminder that she was in a war zone turned out to be her most agonizing opponent. Why was he trying so hard to prove something that he knew he couldn't do? Frowning at her frustrations over his actions Rey took over, Chewie allowing her to move the Falcon in a way that any academy trained pilot would find clumsy but unexpectedly efficient.

" _You_ need a teacher." She muttered to herself thinking that for someone who boasted experience and learning he had a pretty bad habit of maintaining ignorance to the truth of the matter. As the Falcon flipped in a one eighty aided by gravity there was a moment, just for a second, when they connected. Staring across to the other ship they couldn't see the person inside but they could feel them and in that same instant they sat stunned. Neither force wielder felt the shock wave as both ships fired at the same time, failing to avoid only the critical destruction of their opponent's attack, Rey's crewmates more aware of the engine failure than she was. Time caught up and both incapacitated ships spiraled down, crashing a small distance apart.

"Why does this guy have a vendetta against me?!" Poe cried out as he and Finn made it to the cockpit, checking on their friends while Rose joined them.

"I think it's more of a collective grudge at the moment." Rey pointed out checking her readouts. The damage was fixable but they also had a grounded ex-Jedi nearby and judging from how closely the other ships had kept with Kylo's she had a hunch he wouldn't be alone. She didn't know what was about to happen but she knew even as she wanted him to turn sides she would have to fight.

"I'll stay behind to help Chewbacca get her up and running again." Rose volunteered as the group collectively caught up to Rey's intuition. BB-8 remained behind as well while Rey, staff in hand, lead her two friends who had taken up trooper riot batons that Finn had commandeered during a separate scuffle.

They broke out from the sparse cluster of trees of the edge of the forest they had landed in to discover they were close to combating ground forces. Vehicles and troops were at a stalemate, neither moving nor letting up ground as blaster fire filled the area. This all changed in a slow and agonizing second.

Rey felt it before she saw it. Out of the trees opposite them black clad figures flowed almost like smoke, illuminated by red sabers. Resistance fighters fell hopeless to these monsters as they single-handedly changed the tide of the battle. Rey clenched her teeth feeling some mixture of anger and fear. These people had followed him and they had betrayed their comrades to do so. She wanted to wonder why but she knew first hand about the charisma Kylo could have when he wanted something. Together with his immense power and people were bound to follow his legacy.

She should have gone straight for him; she could recognize his familiar stature even without his lack of a helmet amongst the line of shadow. But she couldn't bring herself to, not yet. With a savage war cry filled with the veracity of her frustrations she went for a group of his knights away from him trying not to be conscious of his gaze shifting to her.

She managed to hold the attention of these four hoping that Poe and Finn would be able to handle the rest between them. It would be a challenge facing opponents who wielded sabers with no other Jedi to help but they had to try. Her staff had been reinforced on that planet so far away, coated with materials that stopped her enemy's weapon from searing through it. She waited until the last second, taking one of the knights off guard to severe injury when she finally activated her saber. Her quarterstaff became a glaive, crowned by orange that burnt brilliantly, crackling because of the broken crystal inside that had changed as she'd worked on it. She could feel the will of the force through the gem almost like a living extension of herself and couldn't deny that the colour was poetic. Rey of the desert burning through her adversaries.

Shifting her mind back to focus she found her hours of training helped immensely in those next few minutes. She was greatly outnumbered, something reminiscent of a fight that felt like a lifetime ago. But this time he wasn't at her back. So she relied on herself and her instinct trying not to glance toward her companions who struggled with their opponents, Kylo having taken particular hostilities to both of these men as the scattered fighting shifted closer together. She worked hard not wanting to waste any blow or defense, whittling down their numbers by causing injuries too great to bounce back from.

It was one mistake. Just one. Time slowed in that instant. She had knocked back one of her adversaries but behind her another swung down, ready to kill. She was turning to defend herself but she wouldn't make it, her staff to far out from warding a third. She would not survive the descending blow. Her mind raced in those muted microseconds. All the things she had to do, all the things she wouldn't. She should feel afraid but surprisingly she didn't. She felt incomplete. She didn't understand why and wanted to question it. Then sound flooded back and she realised a man was crying out in rejection. Time sprung back to its normal passage just as a red saber pierced the heart of her killer. He dropped as a whirl of black swam around her defensively and Rey finally realised what had happened. Kylo had killed one of his knights to protect her. That single action had frozen the battlefield as First Order and Resistance alike all took notice. The knights dropped back in their circle even ignoring Finn and Poe who stared intently at Rey, unsure what to do next.

"What are you doing?!" One knight finally spoke up breaking the silence. She could feel the chaos of his thoughts seeping out from him. Kylo's gaze rounded on this soldier all sense of calm superiority gone from him. There was something wild in his eyes, some fierce need to keep her safe. Even in the shock of that moment she felt warmed by this.

"She can't die." Kylo declared with no intention to explain himself. While the other knights glanced between themselves in hesitation this seemed to further infuriate the one who had spoken.

"I trusted you. _We_ trusted you! We followed you into this!" The warrior declared intending to send a pulse of pure power to knock them down but Kylo's will shoved back with minimal effort. It was clear that he had a chance of surviving if they all attacked him. His knights might prevail but there was risk there as raw power had a tendency to triumph over numbers. That was good, that kept them cautious about action.

"I _know!_ I know…" Ren shouted back almost panicked with aggravation in his tone, repeating the phrase in a softer more apologetic timbre. She could feel him wanting to acknowledge his mistakes but he couldn't do it. His pride wouldn't let him. Ignoring that, they were not the first lives he had ruined with his choices and they were not the most important to him. He'd done worse to those. She felt his grief and tried to soothe it with her mind not missing the quick flick of his eyes in her direction. He appreciated her efforts. Kylo resolved to take action in that moment.

"Are you with me Isamu?" He asked ducking his head when a slew of curses were thrown at him. He acknowledged that this was expected and reasonable but it was not what he wanted. His eyes shifted to the other knights whose stances betrayed their thoughts on the matter where their concealed faces did not.

"Jun, are you with me?" He questioned another, the one who stood near Poe. The man relaxed at his name almost as if he was weary of the long fight too. He glanced to the furious Isamu regretfully then back to his leader.

"You are the legacy of the Force. I follow in your strength." He proclaimed only two other heads nodding in agreement with his sentiment. This seemed to be the spur that kicked Isamu into action as a cry of fury distorted through his mask, the shout a poor move on his part as it alerted Ren well before time to act. The two other knights joined Jun in defending, Poe and Finn aiding them as she fought side by side with Ben.

He wished it hadn't come to this. Men who had followed him when he'd told them what Luke had done; had swept through Luke's temple and slaughtered his fellow students under Snoke's advice and removed any other threats that might avenge his thought to be deceased master. He'd fought with them, celebrated with them. They had obeyed him until this bitter end and he had betrayed them. But he had to. If they would not follow him as he turned from yet another path then they were his enemies and he could not let them harm her. Not that she would allow it either.

It had been hard to focus in his battle though his training demanded he do so. She had looked magnificent. A wild goddess of the desert wailing into his knights with practiced ease. She'd been learning. He wondered still who had taught her. Better yet, where had she learnt to build a lightsaber so well that she had grafted it to her staff? There was still so much he didn't know.

Now she was by his side and there was that familiar feeling, that rhythm that had felt so right the last time they had fought together. Knights fell to their blades. To her they were strangers; to him they had once been friends or the closest thing he had to friends. Blaster fire had resumed when their battle had, the ground spraying up around them as soldiers deemed it worth the risk of hitting allies. Deep blue earth crumbled, spitting back down on them in a spray of debris. There! There was his chance! As Isamu used a manoeuvre to off-balance Rey while also deflecting an attack from Jun, Kylo saw his opening. He took it thrusting his blade deep through his closest disciple's ribcage. He'd felt this kind of pain at the death of someone by his hands only once before. He wanted to apologise for leading them all astray but his narcissism would not let him. He hoped at least Isamu could see it in his eyes and be at peace.

When the last knight dropped the battle around them slowed to a halt again, the implication not lost on the First Order soldiers. The Jedi Killer watched the glitter in the air, some by-product of the planet, as the smoke began to clear. He was weary again.

"Ben." A soft voice called out catching his gaze. Rey stood there his pain mirrored in her eyes flanked by her two lackeys, a minor inflection of irritation passing through him but he ignored it. The pair of force wielders seemed to watch each other for seconds that lasted an eternity knowing the futility of what could happen next. His eyes darted to her hand when she motioned to him, holding it out in offer; a ghost of a moment from another time and a similar expression stirring in his memories. His whole being wanted him to move across and take her hand but he couldn't. There was no life for him with the Resistance.

"Please." She begged, his reluctance filling her voice with desperation and grief that echoed his memories; he understood the sentiment all too well. The familiarity of both sides of the gesture shared between them. He felt a twist in his chest that was agonising and tried to keep calm, to build some sort of mask. Why had he left his helmet behind?

"I can't." He told her, the response causing her to stagger on the spot. She knew as well as he that he had done too many horrible things to take Rey's hand, to join her in the fight. Even her friends beside her were silently willing the Jedi to stop this, eyeing him with mistrust. She went to speak but the words came out as a strangled noise forcing her to take a breath and try again.

"You don't have to fight for them." She began, tears slipping from her eyes. "Just with me." The desert girl pleaded taking steps closer like a shorter distance would make it easier. Kylo took a deep breath as he looked around. His next action decided the outcome of this minor scuffle before the fight returned to the skies. He glanced back to Jun and even through his mask he could tell that those of his knights that were left would follow him wherever he went. He had done too much to fight for the Resistance and he had never been fond of them for all the times his mother had suffered at the New Republic's hands. But he could fight for Rey. He could stand with her regardless of what awaited him. He would find a way out of what came and perhaps find peace in solitary.

His mind made up he closed the distance, brushing past her hand. She let it drop as he stood over her looking down intently. She braced herself, ready for anything that might happen next. She was so beautiful. He glanced to the inactivate saber in his hand, twirling it. There was a soft clink when he held it to her staff.

"My blade is yours. Always." He swore. Kylo felt her relief washing over him, a calming force flowing through her into him through whatever link they shared. It was enough to remind him to take action. Jun understood the motion obeying Ren's command to aid the Resistance with the remainder of his knights; a small force of three. The First Order ground units in this quadrant had all but surrendered anyway knowing that their chances had significantly dropped now.

Freed from the duty of remaining to help, Rey took the lead of their ragtag group back to the Falcon. Kylo didn't miss the traitorous storm trooper stepping up beside her to tell her it was a bad idea to include the Jedi Killer neither did he miss the gun nor hostile stare aimed at him by the surrogate son. Not that he could judge anymore. He was a traitor too.

They made their way into the trees opposite where he had been shot down and before long he had the painful impression of memories flowing over him as he caught sight of a ship that had once been filled with his dreams. He now knew what had happened to the First Order unit that had been sent to flank their enemies. Dead storm troopers littered the area along with carnage that had no origins with the crashed ship. A young woman leapt up from a wookiee she was tending to greet their group, stopping short when she spied the black clad warrior. Her cheerful greeting fell with her smile but she at least understood that he was there for a reason.

"What happened?" Finn asked, Ren not missing the once over he gave the young girl to check for injury. She gestured back to the wookiee who was moving to stand though it obviously pained him.

"They came out of the forest but Chewbacca was so angry. You should have seen it. They didn't stand a chance." She explained the others looking to their furry friend in alarm. Clearly they'd never seen a raging wookiee before. Ben had never been on the receiving end of one but he had witnessed it once or twice in his youth. Though now that he thought about it, Chewbacca had tried to kill him and he had the scar to prove it. It was this thought that remained prominent in his mind as one of the few men who could beat him in height stood across from him. Familiar blue eyes that once observed him as a friendly uncle now looked at him with a complex mixture of emotions. The wookiee said nothing, just stood and stared across at the young boy. The group had gone silent. Kylo could tell Rey wanted to say something, wanted to beg patience but the words were caught in her throat much in the same way his were. Should he plead for forgiveness? Could he put into words the pain in his chest, in his sanity whenever he recalled the moment he had failed everyone; made a sacrifice worth nothing.

Chewbacca let the stillness stretch out, thoughts racing through everyone's minds. While he saw the boy he used to carry on his shoulders he also saw the face of the monster that had murdered his closest and oldest friend. Though it sundered his heart in pieces he could not forgive him. He wanted to, by the Force he wanted to. But rage still simmered inside. He inclined his head, acknowledging that he would not fight Kylo but he knew the boy understood that he would no longer find family with his father's lifetime friend. Ben nodded slowly, his breathing ragged as tears came to his eyes though he refused to weep. Not now. It was his mistake. His burden that he would carry to his grave.

Acknowledging the silent discussion had concluded, Rey moved breaking everyone into action as they followed her lead. Poe and Finn protested leaving her alone with Ren but obeyed when instructed to take the two turrets as Rose took care of the injured wookiee and helped BB-8 with any necessary maintenance. Ben slowed when he entered the cockpit with her, eyes immediately affixing on familiar dice that had been returned to their place. Fresh guilt washed over him but he let it pass and took a seat beside Rey.

It had been so many years since he'd piloted the Falcon but the motions came instinctually, the muscle memory still there. He allowed himself a little pride at the irritation that crossed his co-pilot's face when he was ready and had them taking off before she was up to speed.

When the Millennium Falcon returned to the skies it was cheered by the Resistance regardless of distasteful mutters from Poe over the comm-link. In spite of this he was soon cheering with Finn over some shots they managed to land that almost seemed impossible. It was all they could do to keep up with Ben's piloting who seemed to have a sense of the ship like it was a part of him, weaving through impossible gaps and moving faster, adjusting direction quicker than seemed physically possible. He glanced to Rey. There was no finesse to any of her manoeuvres. They were impressive yes but he had to wonder where she'd learnt her piloting.

"What on earth are you doing?" He asked unable to keep the smirk from creeping onto his face. She'd pulled off what she wanted but she'd gone about it in a rough way, adding to the scrapes of the relic.

"What?! We're where we need to be!" She cried out indignant frustration scrunching her face in a way that he secretly found cute. He lost all composure as a grin broke out on his face. This only seemed to annoy her further. "What makes you think you're a hotshot?!" She jabbed back flicking a switch to adjust the thrusters for the next run.

"I was co-piloting this garbage before I was high enough to look over the dash." He reminded her almost breaking the jovial moment of playful teasing. He was spared falling back into grief when in an effort to show him she was just as good she took out the new radar dish. She had nothing to say when he began laughing as they went back around to fire again. The Resistance was winning the battle. Soon the skirmish would be over and the opposing factions would regroup. The war was not done but he could feel its conclusion was near.

* * *

((A/N: Sorry, a bit late again. To be honest, it should be even later. I have not gone over this chapter enough so please bare with me for any mistakes or story inconsistencies; I'll try and grab them when I do the story a final once over before posting the next chapter (which will probably be a bit late as well so sorry in advance).

As you've probably noticed, space battle is not my forte so apologies for the clunky, awkwardness of such. It's definitely an area I need to work on. But hey, some more attempts at humour.

Mystic 777: Aah...surprise, Isamu had Snoke's "gone before we could learn more" fate. But I guess it also answered the question. I feel compelled to say please don't be mad. WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf: Hux is working hard to paint a target on his back. ;) As for the Ben thing: It's mostly based on what I feel suits at the time. I do tend to use Ben when I'm speaking from the perspective of Rey or in association with those who would probably use Ben like Leia or Luke. Ben and Kylo are the same person; separate fragments of him but still interchangeable. I use Kylo more when he's wild and monstrous and lean towards Ben when he's at peace or in balance but that's not exclusive because I want to try and show the perception of his character as a whole. That Kylo is just as gentle as Ben, etc. I have moved to using Ben as the story progresses and as he opens up more to Rey but I don't want to stop using Kylo because he will always be a part of our tortured Jedi. I say just go with what feels right and natural for you. n_n Good luck! Sadly nothing came of her tattletale. He was too caught up in annoying Hux and then doesn't really care what the Resistance thinks or knows. And no! Long reviews are great! I love them best! They give me so much to think about and sometimes it's something that hasn't even crossed my mind. Thank you very much for your long reviews. :) : Hope I have not disappointed. n_n pagan-seijou: Thank you. :) Exactly what I'm striving for. Glad to know the message is clear.

Eh. Long note again. We're nearly there folks! Hope you're still enjoying! Constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated.))


	7. Chapter 7 - Try It

Chapter 7 – Try It

The exhilaration of battle was ending and the closer she got to the main base the more dread sunk in her stomach. It didn't help that Finn and Poe, no longer distracted by shooting, were seated in the living quarters eyeing off the three remaining knights they had picked up on the way. Their opinions would be shared with the groups they were about to meet with and she could not blame them.

They landed at the edge of the camp; as far out as she could manage without being completely separate. Her apprehension doubled as she sensed his narcissism glancing over to Ben with worried eyes. His expression indicated that this was her decision but if a fight broke out he would not hold back. Rey resolved that she would do everything in her power to prevent that.

Poe, Finn, Rose, and BB-8 were the first to leave; the crowd that had come out to greet them cheering for all the hits the Falcon had made that helped in winning the battle. But Rey could hear those cheers dying down no doubt at the stony expressions on the faces of her comrades who wanted to refuse her request. She helped Chewbacca, letting him lean on her as he made his way outside to see an experienced medic. He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance as she handed him over to be taken in and treated. Lando was looking between Finn and Poe before glancing back to Rey.

"What happened?" He asked noting that all heads were accounted for causing alarm as to why they'd be so solemn. Rey took a breath before glancing to the bay doors gesturing for Ben to come out. She could almost hear his silent question if she was sure about this but there was no turning back now. He let his knights hang behind as he stepped out. The shock lasted only long enough for the first man to point his rifle at the Jedi Killer and Rey was certain if she hadn't stepped in front of him someone would have fired though she could feel Kylo casting out his mind ready to use the force to halt any onslaught.

"It's fine. He's with us. He fought with us." She declared not ignorant to the look of disbelief and the derisive growls echoing through the crowd. Some of these men and women had personally suffered at Ren's hands; lost loved ones, lost homes. They had every reason to despise him and his knights but she had to try. It was futile before she even spoke up again, disarmed when she felt Ben step beside her. He spared a glance to the people but focused his gaze on her.

"It's not fine. I will always be Kylo Ren. There's _nothing_ I can do to redeem myself to any of these people." He told her his voice velvet and soft and yet somehow it hurt so much to hear him speak. She was terrified of what might come next and she couldn't lose him.

"But you're helping us." She tried to reason not wanting to have this argument in front of so many others because it was so hard to keep herself from crying. She didn't want him to be alone anymore. _I'm not._

"I'm helping _you_." He reminded her. Her eyes followed his as they traced the shape of her face almost forgetting the world around her.

"Poe, Finn. Your thoughts?" Lando interrupted bringing Rey back to reality as she looked over the people who believed in her with pleading eyes, silently begging them to believe in Ben Solo too. It was what their General had wanted, they had to know that.

"Personally I think he and his knights should be in a cell." Poe spoke up with a lot of resentment in his voice. Although she understood why, Rey shot him an angry look that held even when his eyes flicked to her abashedly. She didn't get a chance to rise to Ben's defence.

"Try it." Kylo's voice came out as a low threatening rumble, emphasised by his presence bearing down on everyone around them. She fumbled to keep up trying to rein him in thinking that intimidating them with the force wasn't going to help the situation. He looked back to her silently telling Rey to stop. "I won't fight for the Resistance. I won't fight for these people. I couldn't care less if they live or die, succeed or fail." He declared making sure that his voice was heard as he cast one last look across the crowd in warning. "They paint me as a monster because _I am_. But I'm not the only one in this war. The Resistance has suffered losses, so has the First Order. There a murderers on all sides. But I'm not here to fight for any part of this conflict. I'm here for _you_. I will stay only for you. The Resistance, the First Order, I don't want any of it. I fight to protect _you_." He concluded not waiting for a response. Despite his blatant honesty not including his remaining knights they followed him as he retired inside the Falcon leaving the others to argue over what they wanted to do with them.

A small party insisted on sitting outside the ship ready to shoot if anything happened while the others split up to their duties. Rey joined the crowd following Lando who kept up the discussion on what was next. They argued. She tried hard to reason with them, to let them understand that even if they still resented him, something they had every right to, now he was there fighting to help them. But it went in circles and before long the burden of her responsibilities left her weary. She tried to rationalise; bringing up Darth Vader's change of heart as confirmation that with the right motivations fallen Jedi could fix their mistakes. Not everyone in the cramped room believed the version of events that had been explained to the galaxy following the reveal of the Skywalker legacy. Many still held conviction that Luke had defeated both Vader and the Emperor that day.

It was Finn who saw her fatigue. He interrupted saying they could continue the argument but make no decision without her. But for now she needed rest. They all needed rest. He called for a recess to recuperate after the long battle, reconvening before sunset as he understood the tension in the air would not hold until morning. Rey appreciated it more than she could put into words and she tried to convey that in her expression as she left.

Without even thinking about it her feet led her back to the Falcon. She slowed at the sound of harsh whispers. Jun and the other knights were concerned they'd made the wrong choice in following Kylo. He'd taken them from one danger to the next and changed his mind with a shift in the wind. One of them hated that he was motivated solely by 'some girl'.

"She's the answer the Force has given to him. You saw her on the battlefield. We've had years of training and yet none of us could do that." Jun spoke up again reminding them there was substance to Kylo's decision.

Deciding she didn't want to know what conclusion they came to Rey turned the other way letting the thread that bound them lead her to Ben. He was in the med bay kneeling in front of a small panel he had removed. Behind it was a box of treasures that had survived their hiding place. Somehow he'd closed off his remorse. It was there but he'd built a wall around it that made it feel hollow. She wondered if he felt it and was just sparing her the agony of sharing in his pain.

"I think he knew it was here…" He murmured to acknowledge her presence as he placed the lid back on before returning the chest to its hidden home. When he stood once the panel was back in place he looked to one of his hands. She could almost see it; the link connecting them and mirrored the action looking at her own hand. "Snoke claimed he made this bond through the Force to manipulate us but that's wrong." He stated with conviction turning to lock his gaze on her. His dark eyes were intense as he watched her. It made Rey feel uncomfortable. Like he could see everything. Her first instinct was to defensively attack but instead she shuffled in place staring at the ground hoping he'd look away.

"If it wasn't Snoke, where did it come from?" He asked taking a slow step towards her. "When did it start? Was it that sensation in the interrogation room? Or long before?" He continued, each question another step closing the distance between them. "Why is it still here? Why can't we control it?" She held her breath looking up at Ben as he towered above her. He was so close she could smell him. His musk made her head swim and it was hard to think, to put words together. She licked her lips mentally shaking herself to try and get some form of focus. She realised in that moment that she had to acknowledge a truth. She cared deeply for Ben Solo _and_ Kylo Ren.

She wished things were different, by all the stars she wished things were different. But it wasn't. There was no future with the Resistance for Ben. There was a chance, a fraction of a chance so small she didn't know how to achieve it, but there was a chance that some would forgive him. If he put all he was worth into helping defeat the First Order there was a chance that maybe he could live somewhere safe and happy away from those who would never pardon his crimes. He wouldn't be redeemed, not truly, but he would be safe and at peace. But that future was hard to find, hard to reach and she realised that the burden of fighting for that was becoming too much for her to carry. Things hadn't mattered this much when she was Rey from nowhere. She crumbled under that weight tears slipping past her defences.

"I can't save us. I can't save you." She affirmed; the torment in her voice as she tried not to weep. She felt comfort reach out from him and almost instinctually his arms extended, hands on her shoulders in reassurance as he leant his forehead on hers in spite of the fact he had to hunch to do it.

"I don't need to be saved." He informed her though they both knew that wasn't true. But he wanted to reassure her that as broken as he was, he could carry on; she didn't have to fix him for things to be fine. He forced a smile before pulling her into a hug. She had never felt more at home with his chin resting on the top of her head and her face buried in his chest. She returned the embrace and for the first time they became aware that they were touching, really touching. This wasn't some force link letting them physically affect each other from across the galaxy, this was solid and real. She pulled back, fidgeting under this knowledge as her hands roamed his muscles. He flinched under her caressing fingers, hands dropping to her waist as subconsciously he pulled her closer. Not for the first time his eyes went to her lips, her gaze mirroring as she observed his. He wanted to play it cool but he was nervous. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure even without their bond sharing their sensations he would feel it. She leant forward first, tilting her head upward. It was all the invitation he needed to close the distance. The taste was sweet, the energy coursing through her unlike anything she could recall in that dizzying moment. Like an open floodgate the kiss deepened, Rey hooking her arms around his neck as Ben lifted her from the ground letting him stand straight again while her legs wrapped around his waist.

He was nervous but he was attempting to portray a confident front or as much of one as he could allow considering she had some sense of the emotions that ran through his head. He hoped she was as drunk as he on the sensation and not really aware of any shared thoughts. He didn't realise how much he had wanted this until now and in this bare moment it had all felt worth it.

 _I guess it's a good thing neither of you are Jedis because you've definitely thrown the code out the airlock._ An irritating tone cut in and Kylo growled his annoyance hoping if he kept his eyes shut it would just turn out to be a voice in his head. Rey was not so determined to keep going, pulling back in surprise though he did not permit her to drop down as she tried to move away.

"Is there a point where you're going to stop tormenting me even from beyond the grave?" Ren asked finally opening his eyes and shooting mental daggers at his uncle. He eventually let Rey slide down who made an attempt to brush herself off and pretend she was decent. Kylo just chewed his lip as he tilted his head toward her, watching her movements from the corner of his eyes calling up the sensation of her pressed against him. That is until she lightly kicked him in the shin with a blush burning on her cheeks. She had sensed his thoughts.

"If we're all that's left of the Jedi legacy we can make a new order. Train new force wielders, change the code." Rey suggested with an expression that stated her unspoken request. She was looking to Luke for advice.

"Ben's right. He can't be out in the open at the end of all this. No one will trust him. People will be ordering his execution the second the war's over." Luke counselled eyeing Kylo apologetically. He buried whatever emotion this incited with anger, trying to seethe hatred for his uncle but Rey's presence held him back and perhaps even he had burnt out his rage at the universe. "Then again, fallen Jedi have a bad habit of going into self-imposed exile on abandoned, forgotten planets. Maybe they can call for his head but they'd have to find him first." The force ghost continued strolling around the room as if he were physically there and inspecting it.

"I'm not living on a hermit island on the arse end of space." Ren warned glancing to Rey as she took his hand. She was trying desperately to keep him from snapping back at any suggestions just because it was Luke making them.

"I didn't say you had to be completely isolated. There are some discreet places that are pretty much family heirlooms you could disappear to. You always wanted your rightful legacy of royalty. It's almost the same." Luke proposed ignoring his nephew's outbursts. "There might even be people to work with you to ensure it stays that way if you help restore and keep peace in the galaxy. It's what the Jedi were meant to be. Peacekeepers. You're not Jedi but you could become something new. Something not bound by the principals of an outdated religion. The Sith corrupted the force with the dark side. Twisting it. Changing it. But you two…you use those darker aspects together with the light. You can restore balance and without the limitations of that code perhaps the dark side will lose the majority of its allure to those in training." He concluded leaving the pair with much to think on. He stopped his wandering, turning to face them. His gaze was approving when it rested on Rey knowing that he had learnt more from her than she had from him. She would lead whatever the Jedi became in a better direction; he could believe that.

Then his eyes moved to Ben; so many things he wanted to say. So much he wished he could undo. If he could impart anything on him it would be the understanding of the events of that night so long ago from a new perspective. One where he no longer struggled to sleep at night.

"Take care kid." He offered before his visage faded from view. Kylo hid under bitterness but his mind unbidden called up memories. Of his parents, of Chewbacca, and of his uncle. Exciting visits, training, gifts. Late nights of talking and stories. For a moment he thought he would fall into despair as a terrible loneliness rose up to meet him but a warm hand squeezed his tightly and he looked down to the girl at his shoulder. She should have been uncertain, weary, and afraid of what the future held for them. But her mouth parted in a reassuring smile that took his breath away.

"Come on. We have one last battle to win. Let's remind the others that you're helping because I asked you to." She spoke up leading him out of the room. His admiration burned in his chest in a sensation he had no label for but was delighted to feel her reciprocate, if only coyly, when he cast it out through their bond.

"Before we head into the wolves den, I think I should properly introduce you." Kylo interrupted her determination to resolve their current dilemma. He didn't let go of her hand as he lead her away from the ship exit into the open living quarters.

Where his knights had stood hunched in a conspicuous circle of discussion they now stood straight and to attention like the well trained soldiers that they were. There was an incline of Ren's head that indicated acknowledgement to the one mask Rey had a name for.

"Your loyalty is…appreciated." He advised in an almost cautious tone. It was as if the sentiment of gratitude was unnatural for him and he couldn't recall how to convey it. Jun bowed in response. Rey had sense of loyalty from the knight who headed the three that remained. As she surveyed them Ren gestured to her.

"This is Rey." He introduced. Again the words and actions seemed unusual to him. He pressed his mouth into a thin line, running his tongue along his teeth as if he could almost taste his own discomfort but he was determined to do what he had to just the same. A small movement of his hand requested more than ordered, that his knights remove their helmets. Jun was the first to respond.

From beneath the mask emerged a freckled face with dusty brown hair that was messy naturally even before the influence of a helmet. His mouth seemed to push outward as if pressed by teeth too big for it creating an awkward line to match a large nose that had been broken at least once. Hazel eyes appraised Rey as if assessing her.

"Rey, this is Jun." Kylo introduced glancing between them before looking up as another of his knights stepped forward. "And that's Keiko." He continued. When this helmet was removed a young girl was hidden beneath. Red locks tumbled out complimenting narrow green eyes and pale skin with a small mouth that was welcoming in its smile.

"When all this is over, can you show me how you made your glaive?" She requested in a friendly manner. There was something about it that felt forced but not in a deceptive way. There was a desire to trust this woman that had captured their leader's attention so successfully. Rey could sense a great deal of respect and faith in the trio for the descendant of a famous bloodline.

"And finally Nobu." Ren concluded regaining her attention. The last mask was removed to reveal a dark skinned man with half his head shaved short, the remaining curls long in their side swept style. A short beard framed his jaw line, broken by large lips that were set in suspicion. But the expression broke into a small smile. He trusted Kylo too. These three that were left would follow him wherever he went.

"What's next our illustrious leader?" Jun questioned almost as if he were teasing. Before Kylo's knights would never dare, confident in his temper to never cross it. But for some reason now they felt free to. What about his actions for Rey had changed their opinion of him and to what? He couldn't dwell on these questions, he didn't get a chance.

"We fight. We end this war. We find a way to live in the world that follows. A world where all of you can live even when the galaxy is calling for your heads." Rey answered once again awing him with her fierceness. This strength of hers earned admiration not just from him but from his knights who quickly understood what Ren saw in her. They nodded to him in approval as the pair departed, determined to get past the talks that were delaying their next actions.

He thought that his own savage irritation would meet him as their welcoming party to the summit was held by men and women training rifles on him. Ren wondered if their ace pilot refrained from joining in only because he recalled a time where he had discovered the futility of such an action against the Jedi Killer. But there was no anger from Kylo, just disinterest. He questioned if the peace was coming from her.

"I understand that many of you can not forgive him. Years of blood and carnage can't be undone easily if at all. But he is here to _help_ us." She spoke up not giving them a chance to hurl accusations and demands. He refrained from biting in that he was there for her, not them. She knew it but she was trying to persuade her allies to let him do exactly that.

"You'll have to forgive us if we don't trust him Rey." Lando spoke up, the words heavy. It stung though Ben would not let that show. They weren't related by blood but he had on more than one occasion been another uncle who cheered him on and had taught him a mischievous streak to Han's irritation. But he saw something in Calrissian's eyes. Something painfully familiar in an old man asking someone important to him to come home.

"Please trust me. The Force has shown me this is how we win. Ben can provide us important intel. It will help us end this war." She pleaded a request for patience. The serenity of her tone seemed to be swaying some but others still held to caution and hostility. Lando nodded in acknowledgement, requesting this intelligence be shared. The force wielders exchanged a tense glance, one hinting at conviction the other defeat. He ignored the click of rifles as he approached their holo display manoeuvring it with ease as he brought up the location of the remainder of the First Order legions.

"This is where they're waiting. By now reports of defeat and my defection would have arrived. The plan was to come in with a second assault for any surprises but that would have changed. General Lucius will be back amongst them. If he can keep counsel with Hux they'll withdraw from this location soon. If not, Hux will want to start another assault." He explained knowing full well that once the news made it to Armitage he would be furious. Claude meanwhile would be a lot more calculative. He was the bigger threat. But there was another yet past all of this.

"How do we know he's telling the truth? How would he even know this?" One Resistance member chimed in, this man seething a particular viciousness. Ren mulled over it with his senses. He'd lost a son to the knights. Guilt struck him like a knife but he didn't dwell on it.

"Because I gave the order myself." He replied calmly not backing down from any of those who wanted to refuse his aid. The Resistance members began to bicker not ignorant to his presence as they almost craved he hear their words of hatred. As they argued he withdrew staring at the map of the galaxy before him. Chartered planets and regions, names, colonies. The known world. But at its edges was unexplored space. Dangerous, unchartered. The home of a threat long forgotten for their petty war. The origins of his former master.

She felt his mind wandering away from the present issue. It distracted her as she tried to chime in with reasons to trust his information. She didn't understand the emotion flowing through him and bleeding into her. Apprehension perhaps? It was a sensation that made the years of fighting both during the cold war and after, feel small and menial.

"What is it?" She asked unable to keep her curiosity at bay. As she tried to pry into his mind images swam up before her. Of Snoke and of the creatures that had attended him. Kylo met her gaze with earnest conviction. She could feel the importance of this information.

"The First Order is a remnant of the threat of the Empire. But there a things more dangerous out there than warring factions." He explained. The words were for her but maybe it was the timbre of his voice that silenced the room capturing everyone's attention as all eyes fell on him again. "Snoke came from the unknown regions. He single-handedly wiped out the majority of the leaders of the First Order and left Hux in charge as a pawn. He spent years moulding me as another." He continued and Rey could see the direction of this train of thought. There had never been a concept to her of beyond the war aside from how to keep Ben safe. It had taken over her life, replacing her daily grind of waiting. What came next? Again, the only question of that she had had recently was how to keep him away from the rest of the galaxy.

"So what, Snoke's dead. It doesn't matter." Finn spoke up irritated at what he thought might be a distraction from the current debate, the murmurs of the crowd suggesting agreement. She bolstered her attempts to send patience to soothe Kylo but found she didn't need to. His irritation had run out it seemed or it had tempered.

"His attendants are alive. They returned to deep space where the First Order began. A location we couldn't hope to find let alone navigate to search for it." He returned holding Finn's gaze. "The flagship has that data. When the war is over an effort can be made to remove any future threats if you send in a special unit to retrieve it." He concluded the glare in his expression softening.

"You just want to get our best soldiers on that ship." The man from earlier accused. But she was surprised that as angry jeers cried out in agreement so too did voices raise in defence. Some people saw the reason in his observation and despite who it came from, acknowledged that it was important information to factor in.

"I suppose even if we make a vote and concede it's too dangerous you're going to go for it anyway?" Lando spoke up with a hint of his usual humour in his voice and a good measure of a familiar fondness as well as he eyed the force wielders. Rey bowed her head in admittance. She hadn't come here planning to suggest this course of action, it hadn't even crossed her mind but she could sense that it had been plaguing Kylo's for a long time now. "Well, if we're going to sneak onto their biggest ship we better organise some explosives as well while you're there." He concluded overruling any objections stating that the matter of Ben's trial could be resolved after the battle had ended. He may have had the worst war crimes against his name but he wasn't the first soldier to ever defect. They'd make use of him while they could.

* * *

((A/N: First up, massive apologies for the long delay in posting this. I decided I needed to heavily review and revise which unfortunately with a very busy last week meant I didn't get time to. But now we're here with some updates to chapters 5 & 6 as well. I'm also uncertain if I should have split this chapter. Initially it turned out very long and I was going to leave it as is but ended up splitting it. So now it's two short chapters and I feel 8 may fall flat because of it. I guess we'll see.

So, I realised I massively messed up on the number of Knights of Ren last chapter when I unawares got very loose and vague with their numbers and (though I guess it's not confirmed so I could add more) there's only six. So some tweaks for that as well. Whoo. Sorry all. I will try to be a better writer and revise more before I post stuff. (^▽^;) Speaking of; describing the knights is one of those things that made me feel really guilty about how much I've glossed over the other characters throughout the story because we know what they look like from the movies. I still have a note on my original document telling me to go through and write descriptions for everyone. Maybe one day when I stop being horribly lazy.

Mystic 777: It was five at the time of your review but as you see, was revised to three. Apologies again and thank you for helping me realise how badly I'd done with the guys. WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf: Thank you very, very much for your feedback. It really helped me in my review process to tweak and add where I realised I was lacking for it. I've now made it much clearer that Rey and Ben fired at each other at the same time because I did get very vague. I'm now really tempted to do another fic establishing Ben and the knights before all this. Isamu would definitely be one of the ones as dark as Kylo. I can't put into words how giddily happy it makes me to hear that someone would enjoy reading this story if it went on indefinitely. Sadly, it will come to an end but I always leave things open for potential sequels. (〃￣▽￣〃ゞ Also glad you loved Fulgor. TFA and TLJ have had some really beautiful and remarkable places, I wanted to keep up that tradition. And yes, she totally deserves it! pagan-seijou: Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I probably neglect the other characters too much for the silver screen. (〃￣▽￣〃ゞ Shestoolazytologin: Thank you. Hope you are still enjoying. n_n Treblemkr: Thank you!

Long note is long once more. But this time I think it's a necessary evil considering how much I needed to fix. I should hopefully be fine to post the rest without delays now. Should I have split the chapter? I guess we'll see. Hope you're all still enjoying! Constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated!))


	8. Chapter 8 - Somewhere Green

Chapter 8 – Somewhere Green

"We're about to drop out of hyper-space." Kylo advised over the coms, flicking switches ready to adjust shields and throttles as necessary. Chewbacca sat beside him, the shared presence enough to incite painful memories in the pair of pilots of a time when a young boy sat on his father's lap watching keenly as they made the movements that had begun his training. But now they were sombre and focused in their duty. He tried to distract himself with the sound of Rey's voice as she acknowledged the alert.

The Millennium Falcon burst out of hyper-space together with the initial wave of Resistance ships. The First Order had expected the attack. They were ready. Word of his betrayal had spread and TIE fighters came to meet them as the X-Wings spewed out of the larger ships that focused fire on the destroyers. Space became a battlefield, the only planet close enough to be visible too far away to retreat to. For a second Kylo wished he was on board the largest First Order dreadnaught just to see the fury on Armitage's face as his units reported the Falcon manoeuvring with the same grace as an abandoned silencer while it took down fighters one after the other.

His glee was interrupted when a black X-Wing swung by closer than one might be comfortable, taking out the line of TIEs the Falcon had been in pursuit of. Incredulous anger crossed his face though he didn't miss the sense that Rey had felt this and soothed caution as he stared after his supposed ally. Competition had been declared.

"Whoo! He's the best damn pilot in the Resistance!" One of the X-Wing leaders cried out over the comm channel as others cheered on Poe's triumph and skill.

"Like hell he is." Ren muttered, his wookiee co-pilot sitting back as he allowed the force wielder to take control. Ben had taken to the Falcon when he was younger and Chewbacca recalled a time when Han had been both proud and annoyed to see his son exceed his talents. It was a painful memory now; bittersweet in its joy.

Soon the X-Wing and the Falcon weaved across the battlefield like a two man army pulling off movements and abrupt turns that left other pilots stunned and questioning how they were possibly achieving them. The young men tallied in their heads the kills, swooping in to steal each other's targets; Finn and Rey thankfully receptive to Kylo's competitive rally as they shot down those he lined up for them.

They were neck and neck as the time drew near, the main ship of the First Order vulnerable to infiltration. It was the chance that the Falcon needed to break off and complete its mission but the competition had to be won. Chewie growled half heartedly to remind Ben of their assignment. As they whirled to head the correct direction he saw Poe lining up to take out a pair of TIEs trailing another pilot. That wouldn't do.

"Hold on Finn!" He heard Rey cry out having sensed what he was planning. He knew what functions to divert from to send enough power to the thrusters to rival the speed of which Han had spent years boasting of to anyone that would listen. She groaned with age but the Falcon held together as if wanting to reminisce in the glory days where she could be famed for taking the top speed and the shortest distance of the Kessel Run. He flipped her on her side allowing his two gunners to take out either ship as he deliberately clipped the black X-Wing, throwing the spacecraft off course as he heard Poe curse over their comms. He grinned childishly, revelling in the excited hollers of his gunners as they took down another two fighters that just happened to be unlucky enough swing past as they continued on toward their final destination.

"Best pilot…" Ben muttered to himself trying to restrain his delight as the wookiee spared him an amused glance taking up the controls in full again as they prepared to board the dreadnaught.

The Resistance's larger ships had done most of the work but Kylo knew exactly where to hit to do the final bit of damage that allowed them to enter. As they landed in the docking bay troopers met the group but they didn't stand a chance as the crew swept out, led by their force wielders who knocked the soldiers aside effortlessly with a joint force push.

The small party made their way through the ship. They faced resistance but not enough to stall them. Intending to become a distraction, Finn split off with Rose and Chewbacca, Ren stepping aside to allow Rey to say parting words even as distaste left him unsettled. He felt her mind respond in amusement to his possessive jealously and tried to ignore it as he chewed the inside of his lip.

"Good luck." Finn offered, holding out his hand to shake. Rey regarded him with a mixture of emotions and brushed past to hold him in a strong embrace. They had come a long way together and she couldn't put into words how much she cared for her friend nor could she share the sentiment through a connection like with Ben. So she hoped her hold conveyed her every meaning.

"See you on the other side." She returned, nodding to the others before parting ways.

The pair of force wielders ducked into a shadowed corner as troopers ran by, allowing their friends to gain the attention so they could continue to the correct room with ease. In close proximity, Rey found herself distracted by the hint of resentment that continued to simmer in Ren's thoughts.

"He's my best friend." Rey explained as she looked up to Kylo meeting his stormy gaze. He looked down at her while his free hand snaked around her waist greedily. He was still gnawing the inside of his lip but the attempt to conceal his emotions with a contemplative expression was futile if not force of habit by now. She could feel he understood or wanted to but was envious all the same.

"We need to keep moving." He used as a distraction not missing the knowing smirk sneaking onto Rey's face before she could stop it. He was avoiding the issue not wanting to admit the immaturity of it.

They found that the other party's distraction was working nicely; making it to the archives without interruption, stopping only to plant the explosive devices Lando had supplied them with at strategic points. Kylo wasted no time locating the data unit that held all the information they'd need in the future that followed the end of this conflict.

"Good. Now let's get back to the others." Rey declared. Their return trip was more eventful as they found they had to fight along the way, encountering more and more squadrons of soldiers responding to an alarm that had been signalled.

They discovered that the other team had become locked in conflict in one of the halls where Hux made his bigoted speeches, vastly outnumbered by storm troopers. They were no match for the force wielder pair however as they descended on the soldiers with ferocious sabers in hand. Rey noticed among them was a tall woman in chrome armour. Phasma had either removed or lost her helm. Half her face was burned from the crack in her armour. Though one was the milky white of blindness, she had wild eyes, fierce in their hatred for Finn who was the victim of the majority of her assaults. He was facing her alone as Chewbacca and Rose tried to keep the other troopers from firing at him. He'd picked up a training sword from somewhere and fended off her blows but he was on the defence. Rey needed to make it to him.

She recognised the intuition this time. How movement seemed to slow as the world held its breath. Something was wrong. She thought it was Phasma who was about to land a savage blow on her friend and cried out, knocking the woman from her feet in a strong wave of energy only to notice too late from an angle Ren could not see that Hux had emerged on an upper level, some advanced rifle trained at his long time rival. Her breath caught in her throat knowing that she wouldn't make it in time.

But Kylo was not vulnerable and he was not ignorant to the battlefield. He had always been good at casting his senses, attuning to the Force with that guidance for danger. He had inherited such instincts after all and if this didn't warn him his bond with Rey did. The bolt of light froze in the air, shaking with the energy of being held in place. He didn't want her to see the demon in him but Kylo sneered with triumph at the one who had fired who was now motionless but for the groans of pressure weighing on him as sweat rolled down his pale skin.

The troopers seemed to understand that the outcome of the next precious moments would not lead to their triumph regardless of any efforts they made and stilled, watching closely to see what would be the final answer of the defected Supreme Leader. Kylo was so focused on the satisfaction of this moment that he couldn't even tell if there was irritation at her running across the hall to check on the traitor. The Resistance members discussed something, their words barely noise to him as he took pleasure in the suffering of Armitage, dragging out memories or his tormented past under the feigned design of locating Lucius.

"Ben, we need to take them in. With their surrender we can end this; ensure all their factions join if not confirm their locations and end this conflict." He heard her honeyed voice break through but he hated the words. His monstrous glee was overcome with effort and denial.

"No." He declared. It was the only warning she got and it wasn't enough. The Force pulled two things towards him in the seconds that stretched out then. Phasma took his place in front of the fired shot and Hux was dragged down as a swirling flourish put Kylo Ren behind him. The red saber pierced his heart through his back. "For all the times you tried to stab me in the back." He purred relishing the gasp of pain even as he knew that half of him recoiled from this viciousness and the monstrous display. Then he released his hold on the energy letting it pierce the woman who had ended Leia's life. They had tormented him for so many years both in rivalry and agony of the lives they had taken. The pressure of challenges and judgement, the subterfuge that had lead to those lost he could never get back. Tears slipped down his face as the last breath left the pair who had tortured so many others; a death that he should have shared. But instead he brought up memories that had been given to him of a mother asking someone to bring her son home with her last breaths. Those responsible were gone and although he knew his pleasure in this had been horrific he also felt Rey's understanding flowing into him in forgiveness.

She approached him, catching his gaze, dragging it away from the bodies that had dropped to the floor. He hadn't realised how heavily he was breathing until that moment. He felt the strength in her grip when she placed her hand on his arm as if to reassure, silently questioning if he was okay. He nodded his head in acknowledgement, waving her off to check the others. The traitorous once storm trooper brushed her aside as well, dismissive not of her but of her concern in spite of the fact he was bleeding. He had clearly taken a hit from Phasma though he deemed that unimportant. In Kylo's peripherals he saw his desert goddess check on the remaining pair before his gaze shifted to her friend.

"They deserved it." Finn spoke up, the words not what Ren expected. He did not show his surprise however; just observed the soldier pensively. He couldn't tell if Finn was trying to convince himself that what he said was the right thing or just acknowledging that that was the way he felt about it. "It probably would have been best for the Resistance to bring them back." He continued staring into the chrome armour of his long time tormentor. Kylo felt his emotions stir. It was unusual to find such hatred in someone else. It made him uncertain.

"I would have done it too…" Finn revealed. It was strange moment for the pair. Rey glanced back from her inspection of the calming wookiee. Two brave men she had such strong ties with sharing a moment that she knew would be incredibly rare. It was over something so twisted but she couldn't help the feeling of joy in her chest to know that though they might never be allied at least they could share in some sentiment of agreement, no matter how tortured. She would take that small victory where she could. But they no longer had time to dwell on the events that had past. The battle needed to conclude.

* * *

They had fled the dreadnaught with troopers flanking them. Those who were abandoning their posts and those who wanted to defeat them with renewed fervour. The explosion that followed their escape had signalled their success as the Resistance called for the surrender of the First Order. Those that conceded defeat called for mercy. The others; they were pursued by the newly formed Kyber squadron. Kylo was ferocious in his duty to hunt down those trying to maintain a war that was burning out. She observed him with apprehension mixed in with her adoration, understanding that he was still a twisted, broken thing but she loved him all the same. At least for now while they had an unparalleled duty, those of the Resistance who called for his head left him alone.

His knights were among their squadron; Jun sporting a sizeable scar he'd earned saving a Resistance frigate from destruction that had earned him and the knights quite a few sympathisers for the lives they had saved. It wasn't enough but there was a comfort in the fact that there was a divide in the call for their deaths. There were already so many lives lost on both sides. Kylo had been right before. Those of the First Order who surrendered had their own casualties, their own dead to grieve and murderers to despise.

A time of peace was coming and as they began their search for a place Ren and his knights could disappear to they took the opportunity to visit a base that was once again abandoned. Ben stood near a grave, speaking softly. He wasn't weeping but she could feel the agony in him as she glanced back.

"Don't be a stranger." Finn demanded as he gave his long time friend a parting hug before standing beside Rose again. They were still unsure of their relationship but now they had the freedom to explore its potential.

"I'll keep in touch." Rey promised as she knelt to say her farewells to BB-8.

"You've given me one hell of a promise to keep." Poe brought up with a tired sigh. Following the end of the conflict a sizeable party was calling for his name in the new council forming for the Republic in response to the reformations demanded of failed leaders. It wasn't a duty that suited him but he knew he had a responsibility to it.

"If you don't know where we are you're not lying that you can't tell anyone where Kylo Ren is or his knights." Rey provided with a friendly smile. She gave the last of her parting hugs as her entourage departed on a separate ship. Chewbacca stood at the bay doors of the Falcon, ready to take his passengers to wherever they wanted to go. A smuggler was good at keeping secrets and owed allegiance to no one. Plus Rey made the best co-pilot even if he would have to pick her up for any jobs he wanted help on.

The young woman made her way over to the grave feeling the edges of Ben's sorrow. She spied a trinket she didn't recognise he had left with the grave in a silent apology and an ode to both the parents he had lost. It was a wound that wouldn't heal but he was learning to live with it. His gaze shifted to her with a gentle expression. She felt uncomfortable in the face of all that adoration and shyly returned it as she closed the distance between them.

"Where to?" She asked wondering if he had any idea where they might hide. The only images her mind called up when she thought of a nowhere place they could hide was Jakku and she would prefer not to make that her home at the end of all she had seen.

"Somewhere green." He suggested pretending he hadn't been reading her thoughts on the matter but the smirk at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

 _I think I know a place_. A voice chimed in causing the couple to turn around. Rey recognised him if only faintly but the look that crossed Kylo's face was cautious.

"Who are you?" Ben enquired, intertwining his fingers with hers almost instinctually when she took his hand as he looked over the young man who had appeared next to his mother's grave.

"That's Anakin." Rey answered for the force ghost surprised for all his admiration that Kylo didn't know. Shock washed over him as his gaze flicked to her incredulously.

"How do you know that?" He asked tormented by the amused grin on her face as she denied answering him.

"I couldn't speak to you before because you couldn't hear me. You didn't want to. Not the me at the end of all my torment anyway. Live with your mistakes Ben. Carry your burdens and love her for all you are worth. Because you can." Anakin stated with a pain in his voice that they could not comprehend. How close had Kylo come to that loss in his denial? A hint of that hurting dusted at the edges of his mind as he reflected on a life where one of his mistakes ended without Rey by his side and he found himself tensing, holding her hand tighter at the fear that left within him. She responded to it with her strength and he discovered this brought to him reassurance.

They followed his grandfather's instructions and found themselves on grassy plains amongst sparse buildings that had been abandoned a long time ago or used only on rare occasions by one family who remembered them in grief. One of their attendants was there as if she had known she had to be, looking at the visitors with apprehension.

 _You've brought balance back to the Force. It is not forever but we trust you will return it whenever it falters. Let this be your place of refuge in the storms to come…and at least there's less sand here._ His last whispers washed over them as Rey moved to talk to the woman while Kylo looked back to the Falcon. It would depart soon.

Chewbacca stood with a contemplative look in his eyes. His softness was interrupted by a deep hatred. He still could not forgive Ben but he did not seek vengeance. His long stride seemed to take an eternity to close the gap between them as he held out something that glinted in the sunlight. As the Jedi Killer took it he recognised that it was his father's golden dice. He had maintained his peace up until that point but as the ship and his wookiee uncle departed he wept. He had not gone unpunished for all his mistakes and crimes; not really. The torment in his heart at his regrets was the burden he had to carry. But glancing to _her_ , to _the_ _girl_ he had sought so desperately from the minute he had heard of her, he knew he could do it.

He took a deep, slow breath to alleviate some of that pain. They would take it one day at a time. Kylo felt defensive when the attendant's gaze shifted to him. There was hostility mixed the duty of those steely eyes. For whatever reason their secret would be kept. When the woman was gone and he spoke to Rey he discovered that it was a promise and a love for a family and a queen that had long grieved for the corruption of the dark side of the Force. A family legacy he was owed even if those few who would be aware did not all agree to it. He could accept that and if loyalty did not hold and their home was discovered he would face that battle when it came. For now he was relieved to find somewhere they could call home that was not as secluded as others might suggest for him.

As Ren followed his desert goddess to one of the buildings he glanced back to his knights. He realised it was the first time they would have seen him weeping, so used to refusing to do so. There was no judgement in their eyes. The words they had spoken at his defection held true. They would follow him to the end. Though he had asked for such loyalty that night so long ago in this moment he could not comprehend how he had maintained or inspired it. Catching Jun's gaze, he nodded in acknowledgement of their sacrifices. His knights bowed their heads, splintered to the other buildings as they allowed their leader to pursue his lover into the one before him.

Ben found Rey staring around a living room in wonder. He could feel through their connection her disbelief in the idea of calling such a place home. Peace left her uncertain and he laughed at how strongly he related to that distrust of something that should be so natural. His chuckle caught her attention but she took no offence at it. Instead she broke into one of those breathtaking grins and held out her hand. He happily took it.

* * *

((A/N: I just had to have one of them take an outstretched hand without breaking our hearts for once. :P I was compelled to add the sand punchline. I'm sorry but I'm also not. A little worried it's a bit obvious this was a split second half of a bigger chapter. Hopefully I didn't do too bad in making it it's own segment.

Apologies for being late again. But we're here guys, this is the end. I know there's a hint at more (and I feel bad realising this caused anticipation for such) but these are little threads I like to leave for the potential of returning to write more should I be compelled. Considering how much fun I had with this, I don't doubt I'll return to it at some point. But at least there will be an epilogue in a week (might be a little OOC but is fun and lighthearted). I'll save my final thank yous and thoughts for that A/N.

Shestoolazytologin: Probably that sense of mystery because we know so little about them. They're definitely something I'm interested in exploring (perhaps in a story about Ben's fall because I'd love to work out the dynamic between them with their change from padawans to knights of Ren). I'm glad they were well received after my failures for them. n_n WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf: Thank you very much for the compliments on my writing. I am very glad to hear that. I am a big fan of authors who describe things in creative ways and want to achieve similar results where words are painting pictures and emotions. It's heartwarming to know I am succeeding. It is a sad thing that I have to agree that Kylo's fate is a tricky one with glimmers of hope. I desperately want canon retribution for him but it's so hard to see him surviving that and doing something big enough to make up for everything. Episode IX will be an emotional roller-coaster I am sure. It is a hard decision to make for his survival when all us Reylo's want to see them happy and together. But that's half the fun of fanfiction isn't it? Deciding where we want things to go while we wait for more from the big guys. As for the darker threat, it's something I've noticed in discussions with others about Snoke and his origins since he's still such a mystery. This old alien wipes out a decent chunk of the First Order cowering from the New Republic in the unknown regions and takes over their operation. Is he alone? Is he working for someone? What else is out there? I'm so curious myself and there seem to be hints and something dark out there. While sadly I won't be exploring it in this story I wanted to leave it open to the possibility of adding to it in the future (then again I do that with everything in the hopes that if I feel compelled to continue in a universe/version of events I've written up I have somewhere to start). Mystic 777: Annoying uncle Luke is fun to write. I just had to have him pop in. Definitely left the breadcrumbs there so there's the suggestion of Rey, Kylo and his knights heading out to the unknown regions in the future. I'm sorry that I will not be alleviating that anxiety at present. n_n;

Bleh. Too long of an A/N on too short of a chapter. Thank you for the reviews, faves, and follows. They fill my heart with so much joy and excitement. I hope you all continue to enjoy these last little bits. There's still an epilogue to come tying up these events and further hinting at a possible future. Prepare for fluff. So much fluff. No, seriously, the epilogue is going to rot your teeth. You have been warned.

Thanks again and as usual; constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated!))


	9. Epilogue - Legacy

Epilogue – Legacy

He'd been busy lately or as busy as he could be sending those he trusted out to do the things he couldn't leave the planet for. He'd tried a few times, months back to sneak away but it seemed to always lead to someone recognising him. Gun fights would follow and complaints from Senator Dameron about not making his job easy. So mostly he stayed at his hiding place unless it was something particularly important or when he felt stir crazy stuck on the planet. Kylo of course didn't care if these outings inconvenienced Poe but he liked to avoid the scolding he'd get from someone else if he didn't relent so he tried to be sparing with his trips off planet. Plus the fewer things he had to try and hide in his mind the better. She'd almost found out what had happened on that world with the red hammock. He didn't think she'd approve and he didn't want to find out. Yes, he could argue with her, he did a lot but sometimes he didn't have the energy to butt heads with a woman more stubborn than his mother.

"We found another one of the lost treasures scavenged from the wreck near Cato Neimoidia at an auction on Nar Shadaa. You've nearly got the whole set now I think." The once blonde, greying pilot explained as her men unloaded the cargo. She then held out a book to the black clad force user.

"Ah! Thank you!" He exclaimed in excitement inspecting the tome and then flicking over the blank pages. "This one will be perfect to inscribe the third tome." He explained to laughter. The woman shook her head before signalling to her people that it was time to leave. "Threat of the galaxy excited over books." She chided ignoring the twist of grief in her chest that mirrored in his eyes.

"See you 'round Evaan." He offered recalling the violent meeting of the woman who had done so much for his mother and helped him only for her sake. Still, she'd softened up a bit and got along with Rey when she was around.

The sun was setting, casting an orange light across the fields. More huts had sprouted up next to the ancient Naboo homes for summer retreats. When more political members outside of the old queen's influence there had been resistance to the idea of the once Supreme Emperor staying in secret on the lush planet but eventually old blood won through and somehow it became his hidden retreat. Only those few political and royal members were aware of the existence of the secret Jedi training ground on their planet, the masses ignorant and thus quiet on the matter. As Kylo took up his calligraphy brush to transcribe from the old tomes he watched his knights, no longer black clad, as they directed children in the force. But it was a lazy afternoon and instead the air was filled with their laughter as they made a game of something or other.

Jun was an excellent teacher but Keiko was the instructor favoured among the children. She just had a way with them none of the others did and her bright laughter seemed to alleviate the tension of any doubts about learning from the supposed worst criminals of the galaxy.

Ben was known as a teacher as well, respected as one by some of his students though others feared him. He never let this trouble his mind though. Kylo would accept all the small burdens for the sins that he had committed that had otherwise gone unpunished. There were people out there calling for his head and rightfully so but here he was permitted to live. There was a certain peace to it as he sent others out on tasks, both personal and those to track down the threat hidden in the unknown regions. She helped him in that. Travelling to do jobs for both the Republic and herself as they prepared for the next obstacle almost in their spare time like it was a hobby though they all knew better. They knew there was danger lurking out their in the unknown and unseen world and it wasn't just the missing Claude.

As if the reflection were a signal he noted the familiar hum and cry of a nostalgic ship passing overhead, landing near the building that they called home. Leaving the small temple that was still under construction, taking the books with him, he made his way to greet Rey on her return.

He could sense the scavenger before he could see her. She was discussing something with Chewbacca, her bones weary after a long adventure. He let his excitement bubble up to spill over letting Rey share in it as he appeared around the doorway, tackling her before lifting her up from behind, revelling in the delighted squeaks of laughter and indignation as she demanded to be put down. Ben ignored the looks of the two children standing near the wookiee; a young yellow skinned Twi'lek and a blue Togruta who appeared utterly confused. This scarred, black clad man was surely Kylo Ren but he didn't at all appear to be the Jedi Killer or First Order monster he was infamous for. In fact he seemed to be a complete dork as he buried his face in the hair of the fiery brunette who also had never shown them this light-hearted side to her on their long journey across the stars.

"Get a room." A young man interrupted as he ran up to greet Chewbacca. The teen thumbed a Resistance ring on his finger as Ben shot him an uncaring look while he refused to drop the woman he was holding, now bridal style after all her flailing. She wasn't getting her wish to be released partly because he was selfish and partly because her desire wasn't entirely genuine.

"This is my house, isn't it?" He rebuked not amusing anyone but himself and Rey only by sharing his joy with her.

"Cid, this is Mehi and Zorita. Can you take them to Jun to arrange rooms for them? We'll begin their training tomorrow." Rey requested as the young student helped his new peers carry their things while they followed him out of the building. As she watched them go Ben noticed a bracelet on her wrist.

"What's that?" He asked curiously unable to hide the apprehension in the question.

"Finn gave it to me as a gift." She explained, glaring towards Ren having sensed his jealousy and desire to remove the offensive object. "Don't you dare." She warned as she slipped out of his hold. She was too wary at the moment for him to take any action. He exchanged a look with Chewbacca that was enough for him to shift in embarrassment that he'd been caught out for being childish.

"What did you find at the third location?" Ben asked shifting the conversation. Rey and a small group of others had been slowly investigating the unknown regions, going to specified locations extracted from the data they had retrieved. So far they'd found only remnants from decades ago, no sign of anyone related to Snoke or the remnants led by Lucius.

"It's where Claude went. He wasn't there when we got there but we think we can track him down. We're regrouping." Rey answered. She wanted to tell Ben to stay here but before they could even voice the argument it was held silently between them. He wasn't staying behind no matter the risk of someone wanting to take him out on their side let alone the other dangers of not only their opposition but the unknown regions themselves. But it was hard to argue that she wanted to keep him safe when she was at risk all the time too. She could take care of herself but he was better at it or so he declared in her mind. She wanted to chide him for the sentiment but was instead touched and defeated by her awkward acknowledgement of his protective adoration.

Chewbacca's whine interrupted their thoughts and the fond smile sneaking onto her face was covered by embarrassment.

"Yes, I'm going to regroup for a while. Come get me…come get us when Finn and Poe are ready to go." Rey answered, hugging her furry captain in farewell. He was happy for them even as he left without a parting for Ben. Each time this happened a flash of pain would strike through the knight; he reflected on it as he observed the Millennium Falcon's departure. When it was gone from sight he turned, walking back inside where he found Rey had dropped onto the couch, boots unceremoniously on the floor next to her pack as she sighed with weary relief.

"How are the students?" She asked as she rested her arms behind her head while Ben took a seat on the armrest near her feet. He tapped on the material on the side idly as he mulled over her question like it was important.

"Cid, as you can see, has decided I'm okay enough to make fun of. The others still flinch at my instructions but they follow them. Anya's getting better and should seek out her crystal soon." He elaborated before stretching across and lowering himself so he could rest his head on her stomach as she shifted to make as much room as she could for his lumbering form. Her hands instinctually went to his hair, stroking amongst the dark locks and twisting them, a habit she had formed in recent times. He liked it just as much as the sensations he got from her when he looked up from under his lashes at Rey. It was his puppy look that had gotten him out of trouble on more than one occasion if he was lucky enough for her to be in a light-hearted mood.

"What?" She asked cautiously even as a grin forced its way past her feigned wariness and ruined the façade. He smiled in response, taking care not to injure with an ignorant elbow or knee, he made his way further up so his face was in line with hers. She'd always blame him when they got caught out by anyone but he delighted in the fact she was always the first to look to his lips almost in request before they pressed down on hers in a passionate kiss. As he did so he slyly slipped a ring from his pocket, sliding it onto one of her fingers as if to triumph over Finn's gift. She pulled away in surprise looking at the jewellery intently, the chosen finger not lost on her.

"It's from Alderaan. Evaan helped me get it; I didn't leave." He quickly excused knowing that she still found the hints of times he had left while she was away as they shared their thoughts. She didn't chide him for it though, lost in a jumble of emotions neither of them could untangle as apprehension nestled in his stomach. He knew it was foolish but it was still there regardless of the fact that joy covered whatever chaos was running through her mind. She was embarrassed about it though; still not comfortable with sharing such secret emotions with someone let alone expressing them when she had been so closed off for most of her life.

"You didn't even ask." She responded defensively mentally reprimanding him for the grin on his face. Their eyes were shut as he kissed her again but she could feel his smile even without their bond.

"Did I have to?" He asked mischievously, distracting whatever rebuttal she had intended to make as fingers twitched at her sides. She laughed and squirmed under the torture of tickles, managing to flip them so she now straddled his hips. He relented, tracing patterns on her thighs as he looked up at his sun goddess feeling undeserving of the delight of this moment but relishing it just the same. His heart hammered against his chest as anticipation filled his veins with adrenaline. They had been lying like this the first night on Naboo when they'd finally had a chance to explore their bond in full; no force ghost uncles to interrupt them. His desires were begging for repetition. She flushed at his unspoken confession as their shared memories swam up to meet them, leaning down to take his lips with hers. It was a welcome home that she still wasn't used to but she enjoyed it.

* * *

He traced the scar on her arm in the moonlight. It was not for his usual nightmares that he couldn't sleep. Whenever she was here he found it remarkably easy to drift off even though insomnia still plagued him when she was away. But it was not fear that kept him awake tonight. Elation fluttered through Kylo as in her sleep her face snuggled deeper into his chest taking comfort from him. He looked at the mark of an old wound that Rey was resting against reflecting on the irony that she had given it to him. So much had happened, so much had changed. His mind wandered over what ifs before drifting back to Snoke. He was gone but there was the threat of tomorrow, the one they had to face soon. Apprehension stirred within, interrupting the happiness he had been revelling in. It bothered him that he they could not prepare for the dangers they didn't know, only react to them as they arose.

Meanwhile Rey felt the beginning of the threads of their interconnected mind as she stirred from a familiar dream. She had stopped questioning long ago why she still saw Luke's island accepting it as a part of her life in the same way that she accepted that Kylo was uneasy at night. His worried thoughts of the unknown flitted away with her stirring conscience and she chose to ignore them allowing Ben his quiet reprieve. His expression was soft when she opened her eyes, delight shimmering in his gaze when she stretched her arms around his waist under their shared blanket.

"What are our plans for tomorrow?" She asked to aid him in his diversion glancing up to stars through a high window in their home. His index finger traced the scar on her shoulder as she tried not to look through his thoughts while he sifted through them. She blushed knowing he had intended causing her reaction when his mind settled on what he really wanted to do.

"We could just stay in bed. Jun, Nobu, and Keiko have the students covered." He declared pretending that he thought Rey would agree to this. While her face burned she took the challenge to play a game of flustering her other half.

"What will we name our kids?" She asked almost casually even though she had rushed to say it before he had an inkling of what was coming. She felt him tense but he made a good show of pretending this hadn't fazed him.

"Anakin for our first son." He started almost as a joke on his admiration for Darth Vader though with some hint of seriousness to it.

"First?" She questioned, her concentration broken from their game. Melodic laughter of a pair of star crossed lovers that shared a bond more intimate than most could know filled the night sky on a planet that had long cried out for the serenity of a confessed love and an open heart. For now the galaxy was at peace in its balance. It would not last as it never does but that was why they could revel in their moment of calm, taking joy when they could. The Force would guide them whenever they or any that listened needed to be shown the way.

* * *

((A/N: Gah. I ruined my bounce between perspectives to start each chapter with this one thanks to expanding 7 into two chapters. But I didn't want to change the epilogue starting with a Ben semi at peace waiting for Rey. It just feels so poetic. Also, corny ending line is corny and short epilogue is short.

We're here guys. Hope you have all continued to enjoy and that the slight OOC of this wrap up isn't too off putting. I just really wanted to give these guys something good for once and throw some lighthearted fun into the mix. It has been a great pleasure writing and sharing this and massive thanks and shout outs to my reviewers who helped me improve with our back and forths. It has been greatly appreciated. As for the future of this version of events, nothing is solid in plans yet but I would like to return to it one day. Not just to find out what's lurking out there but thanks to some of those reviews I'm now really interested in writing about Ben's downfall and getting to know the knights a little more. But for now and for a while this will be it. Thank you all for joining me on this journey. n_n

WhatIsThis'Sleep'YouSpeakOf: XD It really is the unifying theme of the sagas. The underlying message if you will that sand is course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere. I'm glad I found the right balance (ha) for the ending. Yeah, I think Finn and Rey will always have this really close friendship that they don't talk about because they don't know what to say. Hope you enjoyed the fluff! Mystic 777: I felt that he would be. Finn wouldn't be proud of it but Hux and Phasma put him through a lot themselves so he'd find satisfaction in it even if it's twisted. And yes. I was a bit vague again but confirmed here. Hope this cleared any other questions up and that you enjoyed! n_n pagan-seijou: I'm glad you enjoyed 7. I think Luke using kid is very endearing so I loved writing it in. I feel like following on from being called it by Han, that it was a fond nickname Luke used for Ben in continuation. I love making things come full circle while also still moving ahead so I wanted to bring everything back to where it began in a way. There's peace, for now. Hope you enjoyed the fluffiness! And good luck with your studies!

So here we are at the end. There may be slight changes pending a few read overs to correct or tweak things but this is it. Again, a massive, massive thank you for the reviews, favourites, and follows. They help me grow with my writing, gain confidence, and just generally bring me great joy. I hope you have continued to enjoy this little story to the end and to maybe one day see you when I return to this version of events in whatever form happens first.

My usual final: constructive criticism is cherished and feedback is appreciated!))


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